Page 40 of Into the Heartless Wood
There’s a note of severity in my father’s voice I’m not used to hearing. I can sense his eyes on me, but I don’t lift my own to meet them. Instead, I jot down the last star in the Morwyn constellation on the chart, then squint through the eyepiece of the telescope to observe the relative positions of the stars around the Morwyn.
“Owen, look at me.”
I sit back in my chair and obey.
“I know you went into the wood last night.”
A knot twists in my gut. “I didn’t—”
“I saw you climb back over the wall.” He stares me down, daring me to contradict him.
“I—” I scramble for an excuse and come up empty.
He shakes his head, not angry so much as … grim. Resigned. “The wood has got its claws in you. I mean to rip them out.”
“It doesn’t—it doesn’t have its claws in me.”
“Then tell me why you went over the wall last night! Tell me it was the only time you’ve ever done it. Tell me you don’t mean to do it again.”
I open my mouth and shut it again several times in succession. I can’t lie to him. And I can’t tell him about Seren. He would take an axe over the wall and hunt her down. He would kill her, and he’d be justified in doing so. My throat hurts. I don’t attempt to explain.
Father nods. “It’s time to resume our conversation about your future. I haven’t pressed it since the train crash, since Awela wandered into the wood. You’ve been … different since then, Owen. I wanted to give you space. Clearly, that was a mistake.”
“Father—”
He holds up his hand and I snap my mouth shut. “I was in the village yesterday,” he continues. “King Elynion is recruiting soldiers into his army, looking for the next generation of guardsmen—there was a notice hung up at the inn.”
I flick my eyes to the star chart, trying to ignore my rising unease. King Elynion’s standing army is a legend in Tarian. They live and train just outside Breindal City, and being one of his soldiers is a huge honor. The king’s personal guards are selected from among the standing army, too—many a career has been made that way. There hasn’t been war in generations, but the army is ready in case Gwaed, the country on the other side of the Carreg Mountains, decides to reignite old grudges—or in case invaders come from across the sea.
“You’re sending me away,” I say quietly.
His jaw tightens. “I’m keeping you safe. You don’t have to be a soldier. The village butcher is needing an apprentice. Or you could ask at the telegraph office. The inn. The baker’s. Anywhere that includes room and board.”
“But Awela—”
“Awela will be old enough for boarding school in a year. Until then, Efa has agreed to watch her during the day, starting next week. You need to find yourself a position by then.”
I shudder at the thought of working for the butcher, elbow deep in blood, shut away from the sky. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t have a choice. I see how the wood draws you. Why else did you climb over the wall? How long until it lures you in and you never come out again?”
I want to be angry, to shout something ugly back at him, but all I can think about is sitting with Seren on a hill under the stars, promising her I’ll come again. Being drawn to her and not even fighting it. Father is right. He can’t trust me. I can’t trust myself. I hang my head. Avoid his eyes.
“Go to the village tomorrow,” he says. “Find a position. We’ll all still see each other very often, and when I can persuade the king to hire a new astronomer, we’ll go to Breindal City. Leave the wood behind forever.”
Panic writhes through me. I’m numb with the thought of leaving Father and Awela, with the loss of honey-colored eyes and silver skin.
“And Owen?”
I raise my glance.
“If you evenattemptto climb over that wall again, I will lock you in your room and not let you out for the remainder of your time living here. Do you understand?”
I nod. I don’t trust myself to speak.
When the star charts are filled and Father and I have withdrawn to our respective rooms, I sit staring out my window for over an hour. The same traitorous thought worms through my head in endless repetition: I didn’t actuallypromisemy father I wouldn’t go back into the wood.
I did promise Seren.
