He waited, correctly assuming there was more.
“I pledged my life in service to the gods in exchange for being made Empress. They required an earnest.”
“Building the temple is your way of serving the gods.”
“Yes.”
He adjusted his headscarf, the cuff on his ear blindingly reflecting the sun. “Did you ever consider that a temple isn’t what the gods want from you?”
“The temple is just the beginning. I’m going to reintegrate religion into the Empire, restore the priesthood and the holy days. All of it.”
“But what does that mean, personally, foryou?”
The question bit deep. Eda tried to consider it from all angles, but it only made her frantic, frustrated. “I’m serving the gods in the only way I know how. I’m not going to give up the Empire and become a priestess or join the monastery in Halda and dig holes in the dirt every nine days.”
“Even if that’s what the gods want from you?”
Eda peered across at Ileem. His face was unreadable. “If it was, then why would they make me Empress?”
Ileem shrugged. “To see if you really meant the words of your vow.”
“I really meant them,” Eda snapped. “Why else would I be out riding in the desert in the heat of the day?”
His eyes pierced down to bone. “Because you’re afraid there’s really nothing you can do for Niren. Because you don’t know what else to do with your guilt.”
A hot wind tore across the scorched earth, making the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. She ground her jaw, and in that moment thought she hated him.
“I’m not blaming you, Eda. I understand. It’s how I felt when I killed that man in Denlahn. Restless. Angry. Guilty. It’s why I made my pilgrimage. I found healing in seeking the gods. That’s what I would wish for you. Anger doesn’t solve anything. I just—I just wanted you to know I understand.”
She let out a breath, and he was forgiven again.
“I’m going to keep my promise. I’m going to help you finish the temple and save Niren. I know that’s why Rudion sent me here.”
“But will it be soon enough?”
His face grew hard, his eyes drifted away from hers.
She didn’t blame him. She didn’t know the answer, either.
“Tell me about the circumstances of your taking the crown,” he said.
Eda’s hands tightened around her reins. “My father named me his heir before he died. I ousted the traitor who dared claim my birthright and ascended the throne.”
Ileem didn’t answer right away. He rubbed his mount’s neck. “What’s the truth?”
It spilled out of her, without her really meaning it to. “The truth is I don’t know who my father is. I saw my opportunity—Imademy opportunity. And then I seized it.”
“And the Emperor?”
She couldn’t quite bring herself to tell him everything. “He was poisoned.”
“So we blame it on Rescarin. We prove he murdered the Emperor and have him executed. Simple.”
Simple. But even so, a sense of danger twisted through her. “Ileem—”
He raised one hand to forestall her. “We have an alliance, Eda. I would never betray your secrets. I help you take down Rescarin, and you consider marriage. Then together, we serve our god. That was our bargain, wasn’t it?”
She thought once more of the taste of his lips in the moonlight. Her whole body warmed. “It was, Your Highness.”
