Page 60 of The Outsider
“For God’s sake,” Kimmy said critically as she dragged me onto my back. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, my eyes closing again. “Not even shivering, Kim. Just so tired.”
“Shit,” she muttered. “Asha! Where are you?”
Evidently, John was not prepared to wait, because I heard him groan with effort as he hauled himself up. A moment later, he shoved my bedroll into Kimmy’s arms. Kimmy set my sleeping bag up by the fire, then helped me under the covers. My eyelids drifted closed again.
“No,” Kimmy said urgently, tapping my windburned cheek. “Stay awake.”
John sat by my head, pulling his blanket tighter around his body as Kimmy got to work erecting the tent on the other side of the campfire. I tried to keep my eyes open and stay alert, but it felt like a losing battle.
“C-Claire,” John said, giving my shoulder a shake. “Hang on. P-please.”
“I’m okay,” I said. “Perfectly…ah…”
My voice trailed off, and I drifted again.
“N-no!” he said, an undertone of panic in his voice now. “St-stay with me, b-baby.”
Darkness closed in at the corners of my vision, even as I tried to fight it. A million images flashed by my mind’s eye, like a fast-motion slideshow: my sister, when we were little girls together; the golden eye of the Order, following and watching me like a hawk; and the voice of my father, gently murmuring,sleep tight, Claire-bear.
I was too weary to fight anymore. The cold had sapped all my remaining strength. I slipped under the surface of unconsciousness with barely a ripple.
I didn’t remember being moved into the tent, but when I woke up, I was lying inside it, practically swaddled in a tight bundle of my sleeping bag and extra blankets. And I was finally warm.
I was jostled by John unzipping my sleeping bag and pulling me into his arms. He wore only a t-shirt and boxer shorts and was now radiating warmth like a space heater. I instinctively snuggled close to his core, stealing as much heat as I could. The frigid air still had a bite to it.
“You’re warm,” I said sleepily, my eyes still closed. “That’s good news.”
John chuckled and kissed the top of my head.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. “Asha lay with you until I was warm enough.”
“Remind me to thank her,” I said with a sigh. “Well, that was scary, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
A pregnant pause followed, where he seemed to clutch me tighter to him. I wasn’t complaining.
“Thank you,” he finally murmured, pressing his cheek against my hair. “I could’ve killed you for going in after me back there, but…you saved my life.”
“What was I supposed to do, shrug my shoulders and go on without you?” I said, my voice too muffled by weariness to sound truly impatient.
He sighed. “You could’ve died.”
I made a disgruntled noise. “Youwouldhave died.”
“I know,” he replied, idly playing with my hair. “But…I’m supposed to take care of you. Not the other way around.”
“That’s stupid,” I said with a wide yawn. “What would I have without you, John? You’re the centre of my whole world. I’d have nothing if I lost you.”
John didn’t say anything for a long time. When he spoke again, there was a slight tremor in his voice.
“If you died for me, I’d never forgive myself,” he whispered, burying his face in my hair. “You can’t ever do that for me again.”
“No deal,” I murmured. “I love you. And that means I have to save you, too.”
He took a sharp intake of breath and squeezed me. Silence followed for a beat before his hand found my chin and tilted my head back. He pressed his lips to mine, his hand moving to cradle the back of my head and pull me deeper.
