My stomach twisted. His words were both a gut punch and a validation of everything I’d been feeling that day. Still, I tried to muster a defence for Asha, as if by saying the words, it’d make them true.
“She needs time to adjust,” I said, but my voice faltered. “Just like I did.”
John shook his head, and I felt his irritation.
“You may have been clueless back then, but you were never cruel,” he said. “You can’t ask me to be okay with someone who hurts you. Never gonna happen.”
A lump rose in my throat. “What about someone who hurts you? I guilted you into bringing her.”
“That isn’t why I let her come along.”
I frowned. “It isn’t?”
“No,” he replied with another sigh. “I did it because just looking at you, I knew it would eat you up inside if we left her behind. With everything we learned at the Cave about your family…I didn’t want to damage you more.”
I swallowed hard. “You were protecting me?”
John gave an incredulous huff. “Should that really be so surprising to you at this point, Claire?”
“I suppose not,” I replied. “But I still don’t expect it. No one did that for me before you. Some part of me still expects that I’ll say or do the wrong thing…and then you’ll leave.”
I smiled sadly. “Because what’s between us is too good. And if life has shown me anything so far, it’s that I can’t hold onto anything this good.”
I tried to stare at the ground, but John wouldn’t let me. He caught my chin in his hand and turned my head to look at him. I couldn’t avoid those amber eyes I loved, and his gaze—focused and determined—made me feel naked, laid bare, as though I could have no secrets from him, even if I wanted to.
“It is good,” John murmured, his voice gentling. “Sometimes I can’t believe how good, either. I know you’ve been let down by a lot of people who were supposed to care for you…but don’t cling to people who treat you like shit because that makes them feel safer—because you feel like it’ll hurt less if they leave.”
His eyes were so warm and sincere, and if I’d doubted he loved me before, I couldn’t have now—not with the way he looked at me. And he knew me. He saw my attempt to guilt-trip him for what it was: the desperate flailing of a person so afraid to lose what little love I’d known in my life that I’d say things to him that I’d never have uttered otherwise. He saw every crack in my façade, every flaw I had…and somehow still loved me anyway.
“Earlier, when we took off on the bikes,” he said, “I heard you laugh, and it made my bad mood vanish in a heartbeat. Because the truth is, one of the best things in my life now is seeing you happy. And I know I can make you happy if you’d just let me.”
He leaned in closer, so our faces were only inches apart.
“I know you’re brave,” he continued, almost in a whisper. “I’ve seen it. So be brave for me one more time and let yourself believe that I’ll never leave you, because we belong together.”
John pressed his lips hard against mine in a passionate kiss, his hands moving up into my hair. I returned the kiss with abandon, pushing my body against his and grabbing the front of his jacket to pull him closer.
For him, I decided then and there, I would be brave. I’d stand up for him and myself, because of all the people in the world, he deserved my trust. He’d proven himself a hundred times over, and for the first time in my life, I had someone I knew wouldn’t abandon me.
When we broke apart, I rested my forehead against his, reaching up to cradle his face in my hands.
“It’s you and me,” I said softly. “Right?”
John smiled. “Don’t you forget it.”
Crickets had begun to chirp around us, and the last rays of sun had faded into twilight. John gave me another kiss before stepping back, sudden amusement colouring his expression.
“If you plan on scrubbing down, you better get naked now, compound girl,” he goaded. “Come on. Clothes off.”
“Why do I feel like you have an ulterior motive here?” I asked with a giggle as I unzipped my jacket.
He shot me a scandalized look, making me giggle more.
“Are you implying that I mightlikeseeing you naked?”
I stripped down to my t-shirt and underwear, shivering in the cool evening air, and he pulled me against him, a wolfish grin spreading across his face.
“I’m not implying,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m declaring.”
