Page 11 of The Outsider
I set up the tent inside the dilapidated front room. Ancient, dusty furniture lined the walls, but at least there was a fireplace. Claire tended to Kimmy, washing her face with cool water and murmuring gently, like a mother to a sick kid. It would’ve been sweet if the situation wasn’t so bleak.
She’s going to die.It kept repeating in my head like a mantra, and now that we were out of immediate danger, I couldn’t stop despair from setting in.
I’d seen people with wounds like that before, some of whom Kimmy herself had treated, and most of them were dead. If the initial hit didn’t get her, infection would. Even our tiny supply of homemade antibiotics—the kind that Kimmy made by cultivating mould—was gone, used after the attack on our camp.
We didn’t have enough medicine. We didn’t have a sterile environment. We didn’t even have a real bed for her.
I lit a fire in the fireplace, then started cooking some leftover meat from my last hunt. Claire crawled into the tent with Kimmy and settled her into her sleeping bag. When she finished, we sat by the fire and ate together. Neither of us said a word.
Claire stared at the floor, her red hair glowing in the firelight. Even covered in dirt, sweat, and blood…she was beautiful. And she might be all I had left now. There was a knot in my chest that wouldn’t go away.
“How long do we stay here?” she finally asked in a low voice, breaking the tense silence between us. “We can’t keep going with her in this state. We may have to wait out the winter here, until she’s healed.”
She didn’t get it. I didn’t want to explain it to her.
“You haven’t learned a goddamn thing out here, have you?” I said, suddenly bitter.
She frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shook my head, digging my fingernails in my palm.
“It means,” I said, “that you still don’t have a fucking clue, do you? You think we can just sit here, all winter long, without medicine or supplies?”
“No—”
“Do I have to spell it out for you, Claire? Again?” I interjected, and I knew I was being an asshole, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “Thebest we can do now is make her comfortable and hope she doesn’t die screaming in agony. Then we go home as planned. Without her.”
I let out a heavy breath. “That clear enough for you?”
Claire looked like I’d slapped her. She bit her lip and nodded, staring back at the floor. I wanted her to hurt me back, to give me something to be mad about that wasn’t the fucking black hole of despair at losing my sister. My lifelong companion.
She surprised me by wrapping her arms around me. I stiffened, but she didn’t stop. If anything, she held me tighter.
“You don’t have to be brave,” she murmured. “Not right now.”
My shoulders shook uncontrollably.
“But I do,” I whispered, my chest tight. “If I don’t, who will?”
“Me,” she answered, then pressed a kiss against my jaw. “Lean on me. You can go back to being my unstoppable Wastelander tomorrow.”
My arms trembled as I curled them around her. I buried my face in her hair and stayed there, letting her rub my back and comfort me—something I would’ve never let anyone else do.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice cracking. “I didn’t mean…any of it. I just can’t…”
“I know,” she soothed. “It’s alright, darling.”
It wasn’t, but I let myself pretend, breathing slowly and inhaling her scent. Eventually, I stopped shaking. Claire pressed another kiss against my jaw. After a long time, she sat back, looking thoughtful.
“What if there were another way?” she said, reaching out to hold my hand.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I knew a way that we could get her medicine?”
Against my better judgment, my heart suddenly raced.
“Where? How?”
