“I know, but you have to. Now isn’t the time to tell her everything. Now is the time to let her rest.”
I force a slow nod, letting Scarlett steer me down the hallway toward the cafeteria and away from my girl
Chapter 34: Hayes
I’ve worked every night for the last seven days straight with hardly any sleep.
Was I supposed to? Absolutely not. And when my boss, the hospital’s chief, realized it, he ordered me to the on-call room to sleep, which I did—barely.?? Because Ican’tsleep without knowing she’s safe. I can’t sleep without her next to me. But being in the same building as her, breathing the same recycled hospital air, well, it’s the closest that I can get for now.
I deserve this punishment. I deserve all of it and worse. And after hearing her ask for her fucking ex? That’s just another nail in the coffin because no one else knows what Regan and I had and without her memories, I’m the only one who remembers.
I drop into a chair at one of the cafeteria tables while Scarlett grabs two trays of food and sets one in front of me. She eyes me critically.
“You look like shit.”
“Good.”
She cracks open a milk carton and slides it across the table before nudging the tray of food toward me.
“Please eat something, Hayes. She’s awake now. She seems to be okay other than the small loss of recent memories.”
“She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t rememberus.”
Scarlett exhales, nodding slowly. “But she might. You have to be patient. How much of an us was there, by the way? I thought that this was all still fake.”
I shake my head because that was my fault too. I was adamant about this being a fake marriage. I told everyone on the outside that it was. I didn’t share with anyone what I was starting to feel for her. What I felt. She was the only person who knew.
“I didn’t get the chance to tell her everything that I was thinking. I mean, I did a little bit, at the wedding, during dancing and the night before. But we never had a chance to sit down and talk. I was so fucking foolish, and scared still acting like a child. But I’m not anymore. That night, I was on the way to apologize. To tell her I want her. All of her. That I wanted this to be more when you came to the door.”
She nods and touches my hand. “Just be patient then, Hayes.”
I know that. Iknowthat. But I also know there’s a chance she won’t remember what we had, or she’ll remember and not want it back. That she may realize I’m a fucking disaster that destroys everything in my path and she wants no part of it. And maybe… maybe that’s the best thing for her. Maybe it’s best for her heart and her future.
Erase me. Start fresh.
But fuck—itgutsme.
Scarlett hesitates before speaking again. “Why don’t you go home? The horses… they’re getting delivered today, right?”
I blink, the past week blurring together and forgetting all about the horses I’d purchased for the property. “Weren’t you supposed to be in New York by now?”
She bites her lip and nods.
And just like that, I’ve ruined one more fucking thing. My sister’s trip.
“Yes, but I decided to extend my stay a bit. Just until you’re okay.”
I sit up straighter, shaking my head, because I refuse to do this. Refuse to make anything more about me. “I’m fine, Scarlett. You’re free to go.”
She rolls her eyes dramatically, like I’m the biggest idiot she’s ever met. “You’ve always been so stubborn.”
“I’m serious. Go to New York.”
“No.”
I slump back in the chair, dragging my hands down my face as I push the pasta salad around my plate with my fork. It looks like something I should eat. Something that might settle the gnawing pit in my stomach. But I can’t.
We sit in silence, the sterile hum of the hospital cafeteria filling the space between us. Scarlett takes a slow sip of her tea, watching me the way only a sister can like she sees straight through the walls I’m trying to put up. And then she breaks the silence again.
