I wave her off, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “You know it’s always on the house.” We’d never charge her. She’s family. And I already know she and my brother are saving up now that a baby’s on the way. I’m so damn happy for her. Really, I am. But knowing my own fertility struggles might rear their head someday? It never gets easier hearing that someone else is living your dream.
She grins, grabbing her purse. “Thanks.”
“Do you have a ride?”
She nods her head. “Lydia’s dropping me off on her way home.”
When Lydia gets up to pay, I push her card right back toward her. “Seriously, Lydia?” I laugh.
She rolls her eyes but smiles. Lydia moved to town when I was twenty-two and had just gotten back from Arkansas. Her dad took over as the preacher for our small town and the only church here, and even though she’s two years younger than me, we’ve been close ever since.
When Colt was unexpectedly sent away to prison two years later, I felt like my world was falling apart. Lydia and my older cousin stepped in to help Cash with the hens and the distillery until I was able to pull myself together enough to manage things on my own in his absence. I consider her to be like family too and would never charge her a dime.
“Thanks, babe. I’ll see you soon.”
I nod, watching her leave as I wipe down the counter. When I’m finished, I feel the familiar buzz under my skin to keep busy so that I don’t spiral. Grabbing a plate of food that’s ready from the kitchen, I run it out, hoping to distract myself.
I could head home now, maybe check on my older brother Cash and his new batch of baby chicks at the egg farm. He’s been up to his elbows since the latest ones arrived for the season. This is his busy time of the year and there’s no shortage of work. But knowing him and Rae, they’re probably holed up together, making out, and I don’t want to invade their happiness with my grumpy mood.
Sometimes I feel like an outsider in my own family. Troy’s in Raleigh with his wife Georgia and their new baby. Cash and Rae are wrapped up in their own world, building their new house on the farmstead and making out constantly. Colt and Molly have each other just like they always have. That just leaves me and my older brother Lawson single and lonely.
Except Lawson’s always gone. Always traveling for the family business, marketing plans, sales pitches, making sure everything runs smooth as butter. It’s what he does for our family. And I miss him even more at times like these when I feel so damn... alone.
Grabbing a towel, I wipe my hands and pull out my phone, firing off a text to him.
Regan: Hey Law. I miss you.
He calls immediately. Of course, he does. I sigh, rolling my eyes as I answer.
“Hello, big brother.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice stern.
I laugh softly. “Yes. Can’t a little sister miss her big brother sometimes?”
He exhales long and slow, like hearing from me scared him.
Lawson’s seven years older than me. Steady. Quiet. The kind of man who feels everything but rarely lets it show. He’s got a thirteen-year-old son, my nephew, Beckham, but he never married Beckham’s mom. That was a mutual decision, the kind that surprises people when they hear it wasn’t messy, and they are both happier this way.
They always said they made better coparents than partners, and honestly? They’ve proved it. They’ve been solid from day one, raising Beckham with more love and teamwork than most married couples I know. Melissa still lives here in town, happily remarried to a good man who’s as much in Beckham’s life as Lawson is. No tension. No drama. Just a weirdly functional modern family who blends together nicely and Lawson’s been single ever since, the way he says he prefers.
Truth is, I can’t remember the last time I heard his name linked with anyone. Not even in passing. No late-night dates, no casual flings, nothing that ever stuck long enough to raise eyebrows. It’s like he chose solitude on purpose. Like part of him got frozen in place the moment everything changed, and he found out he was becoming a father.
“You can miss me. I miss you too. But maybe don’t text me after a week of silence with something like that. I got worried.”
I bite my lip, nodding even though he can’t see me. “I know.” I head toward the back office of the bar, looking for some peace and privacy while I talk to him. “Lawson... I’m… I’m sad.”
He’s quiet for a beat. “I know. Colt told me what happened about Mrs. Mayberry’s place.”
I blow out a breath. “I wanted it so fucking bad. It felt like I had it.” I sink into the cracked leather chair at the desk in the back. “She would have sold it to me, too.”
“I know you did. We all wanted it for you. It would’ve been a great venture for the family, but Regan, it’s not about that. We wanted it because it’s your dream. Always has been.”
Tears prick at my eyes, and I swipe at them quickly. Silly, I tell myself. Pull it together. He can’t see you, and knowing Lawson, if he knows I’m crying he’d probably fly home to comfort me and abandon whatever important meeting he’s about to walk into.
“I’m going to figure it out,” I say, my voice a little stronger than I feel.
“I know you are. I heard Declan proposed.”
