I nod. “Can I help you with any of that?”
Her lips part slightly, and she hesitates, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth like she’s not sure if she should say yes. Then, finally, she nods. And I’m surprised. Lately, she’s had an excuse anytime I’ve suggested doing something that would require my path crossing with her family’s. Usually, she finds a way to redirect the conversation. But today… today, she doesn’t.
A small smile tugs at her lips. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
Good.
I nod, mirroring her smile, but she’s still thinking about something, still lingering on whatever’s been pressing on her since she sat down.
“May I ask you something?” she says softly.
I set my coffee down and lean forward on the counter. “You can always ask me anything. I’ll always be honest with you even if it’s something that doesn’t make me look very good. I promise.”
She takes a deep breath and meets my gaze.
“What were we like?” she asks. “Right before the accident?”
I knew this was coming. She’s danced around it the past few nights. And though we’ve spent our evenings talking, we haven’t gotten into everything that happened the night of her accident.
I nod, exhaling slowly. “We were… mostly friends with benefits.”
She nods, but I see it—the flicker of something in her eyes. A small, quiet hurt. But that’s not the whole story.
“Until our second wedding day,” I add, voice low, steady. “That’s when I finally got the courage to tell you that I wanted it all with you. All of you. I was all in. I think that was always been in the back of my mind, but I was afraid to admit it to myself. Afraid I’d hurt you because of my troubled past and you know, everything with my dad.”
And now I know it’s time to tell her about what happened that night in detail.
Her breath stills, her fingers curling around her coffee mug as she waits for me to continue.
“I told you that you were it for me when we said, ‘I do,’” I continue, my voice softer now. “At the altar, in front of the Reverend. I said you were it now.”
And I still mean every word.
Her eyes widen, locking onto mine, and for a long moment, she justlooksat me—like she’s turning my words over, trying to absorb them piece by piece and test my sincerity.
“And then I fucked up,” I say, my voice quieter now. “And it was too late.”
I drag a hand through my hair, exhaling hard.
“I’m not sure how much you already know but my dad… he showed up at the wedding. Somehow.Uninvited. He was a shit father... abusive to me and my siblings but I endured the brunt of it. He said some stuff that messed me up.” My jaw tightens at the memory, the way my father’s words have always had the unique ability to twist under my skin like barbed wire ripping through the flesh. “He’s probably the only person who can pull that kind of anger out of me that I thought I’d controlled and contained. I lost it. I hit him. Ruined the whole night.” I shake my head in disgust at the memory.
“My brother had to drag my drunk ass home where I told you to leave me alone. And after downing an entire bottle of whiskey, I got it in my head that I needed to fix it. That I had to tellyou I was sorry, and I could be better—”
I glance at her, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“I was coming to tell you that I wanted to be your husband. For real. That I was done being a grown man who was a coward. That I wanted to date you properly, make love to youproperly,beg for your forgiveness and ask for you to see me as more than the broken man I’d told myself that I’d always be. But by the time I got to you…” My voice falters for a second, but I force it out. “You’d already been hit and were at the hospital.”
Because I pushed her away.
She nods, and what gets me, no, what absolutely wrecks me, is that she doesn’t even look surprised. Of course. She must’ve heard this story before, probably from Rae or Molly. She already knew most of these details but what she might not have known was how much I wanted to tell her I was sorryand not to leave.That’s different. I can see it in her face. The way she shifts, her fingers toying with her coffee mug.
“You really meant all that?” she asks, her voice almost too soft to hear. “You really wanted that with me before everything?”
I don’t hesitate.
“More than anything in the world.”
She sucks in a sharp breath, nodding, but there’s something else there now, a quiet hesitation. “And do you… do you think I wanted that too then?”
