This year will be the first time since Katie passed that we’re all back here together. Although, this year, we came up a few days early so we could get everything ready and have the groom’s dinner.
“Hey, Carse, you just about ready? The photographer said it’s almost time for your first look with Kenna,” Griffin interrupts my moment of reflection.
Clearing the emotion in my throat, I turn to find him watching me. “Yeah, I’ve just got to get my jacket on.” I move to the wall of windows where my jacket is draped across the writing desk I recently added to the space, hoping my little oasis could become a place of inspiration for Dakota’s writing.
“Here, let me help,” Griff says as he grabs the jacket from my hands. I slip my arms in the jacket and Griff smoothes the shoulders once I get it on. Turning to face him while I fasten the stop button of my black tux, I take a moment to soak in this moment with my best friend. Tears well in my eyes and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop my lip from quivering.
Griff hangs his head back and brings his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Ah, fuck. Don’t do this to me, Carse. You already know I’m going to be a goddamn puddle when I see Kenna.”
“I can’t fucking help it, G. You were like the brother I never had growing up. And today you officially become my brother for life,” I choke on the sob that threatens to escape.
Shit, I’m way too emotional for this. How in the hell am I going to get through Mack walking down the aisle?
“You’ve always been my best friend, Carse. Even when I was figuring out how to handle my grief, you and Kenna were never not on my mind.”
Griff pulls me in for a tight hug and we pat each other on the back, both trying not to lose it. When he pulls away, he gives my shoulder a squeeze. “McKenna and I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you and Katie accepting our relationship in the first place. I’ll never be able to repay you for being there for our girls when I couldn’t be.”
My chin quivers and I swipe the knuckle of my pointer finger beneath my eye as a traitorous tear slips free. “You’ll never have to repay me for being there for the three of you. I’ve never been happier for my sister than I am today.”
“Knock, knock. Carson, are you ready?” the photographer’s assistant asks.
Blowing out a steadying breath, I nod my head and make my way down the steps and out to the gardens that Mack, Katie, Catherine, and my mom planted one of our first summers up here.
Once I’m standing beneath the archway in the corner of the garden, my chest fills with joy as I hear one of my favorite sounds. Cadence’s giggles reach me before she comes running into view. I scoop her into my arms and spin her around, taking in the way her face lights up and her brown eyes twinkle in delight. Her blonde hair is just past her shoulders now and is pulled back with a pearly headband. She looks like a little princess in her white dress with pearls on it. “Look at you, Cadey Cat! You are so very beautiful!” I exclaim.
“Alright, I’m going to have the two of you turn around and then when McKenna is ready, we’ll have her tap you on the shoulder and you can turn around,” the photographer explains.
Turning around, I bounce Cadence in my arms, earning me more giggles. I rest her on my hip again as I hear the photographer giving Mack directions. I hear the fabric of her dress move against the grass as she makes her way closer to us. When she taps on my shoulder, I turn around, tears already filling my eyes again, and take in my twin sister looking stunning in her wedding dress.
“Holy shit, Mack. Griff is going to die on the spot when he sees you walking down the aisle. And Dad is going to weep like a baby.” I turn to Cadence and tell her, “Look at your mama, Cadey Cat!”
“Mama so pwetty!” Cadence exclaims.
“Thank you, baby! Look at you—you’re so beautiful, baby girl!” Mack tells her as her own eyes glisten with unshed tears.
The three of us pose for a few portraits together before I turn to Mack. “It’s time to meet up with dad and walk down the aisle. Are you ready for this?”
She nods and dabs her eyes with a tissue she had wrapped around her bouquet. “How is he?” she asks. I don’t need to ask her to clarify who the “he” is that she’s referring to.
“Griff is fucking ecstatic to marry you so he can officially become my brother.”
Mack rolls her eyes but lets out a soft chuckle. “I’m being serious. I know each new milestone he experiences without his mom and Katie here is hard for him. Hell, it’s so hard for me too. But I know they’re here today.”
Shit. Just when I thought I had a handle on the tears.
Emotion clogs my throat, so I clear it before assuring her that he was good all morning when we were having breakfast and getting ready together.
Handing Mack off to my dad, I bring Cadence with me outside to where the rest of the wedding party is getting lined up. Griff is standing with his back to us with my mom’s arm intertwined with his.
I place Cadence on her feet, and she immediately runs over and crashes her body against Griff’s leg. “Daddy! Mama so pwetty,” she tells him.
Griff lets go of my mom’s arm and scoops Cadence into a big hug. “Oh my goodness, Little Ray. You look so pretty! I bet Mama looks like a princess if she looks as beautiful as you!”
Cadence nods her head and squeals in delight. “Mama a pwincess!”
I’m watching my mom begin to fawn over Cadence as someone hip checks me playfully. Out of my periphery, I can make out that it’s Dakota. If her short stature didn’t make it obvious, her signature jasmine scent would be a dead giveaway.
“You sure clean up nice, Golden Boy,” she remarks.
