Cadence peeks up and squeals, “Mama!” Her matching dimple pops on her left cheek. Seeing the two of them together gives me literal heart eyes.
“Morning baby, how did my girl sleep?” I say to Cadence, bewildered by the sight of Griff, trying not to drool at his inked chest and shoulder.
“Remember when you used to call me ‘baby?’” Griff pouts.
“I do.” I chuckle.
“Well, now that you call Cadence ‘baby,’ what does that makeme?”
“I was thinking now I’d just call you ‘daddy.’” I didn’t intentionally lower my voice, but it happened, and I’m not mad about it.
“Fuck—shit—oh god, I shouldn’t be swearing,” he places his hands over Cadence’s ears. “What I meant to say was, I love the sound of that, Sunshine. A lot. Probably too much for you to say in public or when our daughter is awake.”
I smile and shake my head at his slip of the tongue.
“Perhaps I’ll take to calling you Hotshot again. You did win Rookie of the Year last season, after all.” I give him a playful wink.
“You can call me anything you want. I made coffee and got some of that creamer you like in the fridge. There’s also a newspaper with the Sunday crossword on the kitchen island.”
That has me stopping in my tracks. How could he have possibly remembered? I used to love doing the crossword every Sunday when I would stay over at their house. Their dad used to save it for me.
“Griff, that was really thoughtful of you. I haven’t done one since I’ve been in college.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” he pauses.
“No, it’s okay, really. I told myself I wasn’t going to let fear hold me back anymore.”
“I’m here for you, Kenna. I know I still have to work to prove that to you, but I am.”
“I know you are.”
Nodding his head, he winds the Jack in the Box for Cadence again before he says, “I thought we could go get donuts at one of my favorite places down the street. Maybe we could bundle Cadence up and go for a little walk?”
“I’d love nothing more,” I agree.
“I’ll go get her ready,” Griff tells me as he picks Cadence up off the ground. Before he brings her to her nursery, he stops over to where I’m seated at the kitchen island to place a kiss on my forehead.
Now that he’s closer, I can see what the tattoos on his chest and shoulder are. “Griffin, what are these?”
“They’re tattoos, Kenna.”
“I can see that, but of what?”
He dips his left shoulder, where sunbeams radiate down his arm and onto his chest. Below the beams, he has a rose on his bicep. He moves his arm to show me the Roman numerals near his tricep.
“I got these my first week in Colorado so I could have my girls with me wherever I went. The rose is for my mom, the Roman numerals are Katie’s birthday, and the sunbeams are for you, Sunshine. You were always with me.”
“I love each one so much, Griff,” I breathe as I trace my hands across the outlines, wanting to kiss each detail of them. “You’ve clearly been holding out on me.”
“So you’re a fan of tattoos, I take it?”
He must see my answer when he looks at me because he just gives me that panty-melting smirk-wink combination and heads off down the hall. I probably looked like the literal personification of the heart eyes emoji mixed with the drooling face emoji.
After we get Cadence ready, we walk to the donut store, holding hands while Griff pushes the stroller with one arm. I’m completely lost in my thoughts—struggling with the internal battle going on between my head and my heart, and Griff’s taking notice.
I can’t help but wonder if this is what our life would be like if I just opened my heart to this man. Would we go for family walks together? Would we spend our nights cooking dinner in the kitchen—singing, dancing, and laughing? Would we go through Cadence’s bedtimeroutine together? Would we be there for each other to lean on on our hardest days? Would we spend every night wrapped up in one another for the rest of our lives, only to start each day the same way?
If so, it sounds like I’m holding myself back from the most beautiful life. My biggest fear in life is not taking risks. I’m done being scared he’ll break my heart again. I need to tell him I’m ready to jump headfirst. Because what is this life if not risking it all for those you love?
