I threw my phone over to Kenna to get a video. Then I held my arms out for Cadence to walk into. She stood back up on shaky legs, then took one unsteady step right before taking another.
She walked for the very first time, and I was there to witness a milestone of hers.
Cadence only made it about three steps before she dropped down and crawled as fast as her body could take her right to Ranger. He just laid on the rug in her playroom, letting her fall all over him, tugging his ears and laying sloppy kisses on his nose.
Playing and taking her first steps wore Cadence out, and while she took a second nap, I asked Kenna if I could make them dinner. When she said yes, I ran to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients.
I just got back from the store, and Kenna has offered to help me make dinner.
I look around the entryway and living room as I take off my shoes. She’s made this house into a home. There are touches of Kenna in each room. Fuck, now I’m jealous of her brother getting to live with my girls and witness the ordinary moments, day in and day out.
I shake my head to clear those thoughts.
We’re currently in the kitchen, cooking together for the first time in over two years. It feels domesticated. It feels natural.
Kenna still refuses to cook without listening to music and she still can’t sing a song on key to save her life.
And she still takes my breath away just by doing the simplest things.
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to go back to Colorado in a few days, knowing I’ll be missing out on even more of these simple moments.
“Will the music wake up Cadence?”
“No, she’s a pretty sound sleeper. Plus, she has her white noise machine on.”
“Oh, right. Do you think maybe I could stay for her bedtime? I’d like to see what this big bedtime routine you mentioned looks like.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea tonight, Griff. I’ve got midterms to study for, and she might not go down easily since she napped twice. You might also distract her if she sees you.”
I turn to look her in the eyes. “I know you’ve had to do this all alone, Kenna. But I’m here now. I want to help. I want to get to know my daughter. I want to know her bedtime routine so I can help her, too. I want to know what makes her upset and how to soothe her the wayyou do so naturally. I want to be a part of everything. Will you please teach me?” I plead.
“Of course, I want you to get to know her, Griffin. It’s not that I don’t—we’re just used to our little routine and it being just the two of us.”
“You’re truly amazing. I don’t know how you did it the past two years. Being pregnant at nineteen by yourself.”
“I wasn’t by myself. Carson refused to leave my side, not that I’d expect anything else. My teammate Brooke has become a good friend, too. And once I told my parents I was pregnant, they were really supportive. Mom watched Cadence last year while I was at classes and volleyball. This year, I hired Dakota, Cadence’s nanny, to help while I’m at volleyball and classes. I felt too guilty, always leaning on my mom to watch her. Dakota is great with her, so that makes things easier.”
“I want to respect your boundaries, Kenna, I do. But I missed so much already. Unfortunately, I don’t have the flexibility in my schedule to be here every day, or I would be. When I am able to see Cadence, I’d like to try to make the most of that time with her. So can I please stay for her bedtime routine? You can study while I play with her in her high chair and finish making dinner.”
Her shoulders relax as she lets out a sigh. “I’d like that, Griff. Truly, I would. Yes, you can stay. Thank you for offering to let me study.”
“I know I’ve only just met her, but she’s perfect. You’ve done an amazing job with her, Sunshine.”
Kenna’s breath hitches at the term of endearment, and I mentally smack myself for letting it slip.
At the same time, I don’t exactly have time to waste tiptoeing around her. I need to take advantage of every moment I have while I’m back here. I need to wise up and get it through my head that Kenna and Ibeing together isn’t a good idea. At least, not right now. We need to focus on learning how to co-parent Cadence first and foremost.
That’s easier said than done when she looks so good, and being in her orbit again feels so right.
Besides, I don’t even know if she’s single at this point. It’s been killing me not knowing.
So, I casually ask, “Are you seeing Ian? He seemed pretty friendly last night. I mean, it is what it is. I just want to know who is involved in my daughter’s life.”
“Are you sure that’s the only reason you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?”
“Honest.”Yeah, right.I’m acting like a jealous fuck, and she sees right through me.
She rolls her eyes at me. “He isn’t really in our daughter’s life at all. Has he seen her when he comes over to hang out with Carson? Sure. Are he and I involved? No. Much to his regret.”
