Carson pouted but eventually relented. He said he wasn’t looking forward to playing against Griffin, knowing the last time they saw each other ended with Carse punching Griff. Carson is also just as upset and disappointed in Griff as I am that he still hasn’t responded to my text.
I was worried maybe his phone was broken, but he’s been pretty active on social media this week leading up to the Frozen Four tournament.
I’ve come to accept that he doesn’t want anything to do with me. What I can’t accept? That he doesn’t want anything to do with our daughter. Cadence is an innocent accident that came from two people who were in love. She doesn’t deserve his neglect and abandonment.
My phone chimes again, and I see that the game is tied one-to-one after the first period.
Just as I’m about to text my mom for an update on how Carson’s playing, a monitor starts dinging loudly, alerting the nurse in the hallway to come in.
“What’s going on?” I ask her frantically.
“Your daughter’s oxygen levels have lowered, causing the alarm to sound. I paged the on-call doctor to come see her.”
The doctor comes in a few minutes later and says they need to run some additional tests on Cadence’s heart and lungs.
After an echocardiogram is completed, they determine that Cadence has patent ductus arteriosus, which is a heart defect that is sometimes found in preemies.
Even though I’m not sure if the game is done or not, I call my mom to tell her. She says the game just finished and that Carson’s team won in overtime. Carson had the game-winning goal.
I don’t have the capacity at the moment to be happy for my brother. All I can focus on is what the doctor just told me.
I choke on the sob stuck in my throat. “There was a complication with Cadence. She has a heart defect, and they want to do a cardiac catheterization tomorrow morning to repair it.”
“Oh my gosh, McKenna. I will have your dad bring me to the hospital now. Do you need us to bring you anything?”
“No, but thank you.” I take a deep breath, hesitating, before I add, “Do you think we could avoid Carson finding out? I don’t want to mess with his head before the big game. If he finds out Cadence needs to have a procedure done, he will refuse to play in the National Championship game.”
There’s a pause on her end. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, honey. Your brother cares and loves fiercely. He will be hurt if we keep this from him. Besides, the game isn’t tomorrow. It’s on Saturday.”
She’s right. I know she is. Carson will probably never forgive me if I keep this from him.
“Okay. But can you please tell him? I’m not sure I can get through it again.” Tears fill my eyes, and my throat tightens.
“Of course, honey. I’ll be there soon. I love you.”
Hanging up the phone, I let the tears that I was holding back fall.
I never imagined having a baby on my own. And I certainly didn’t expect to have that baby in the NICU, getting prepped to have a heart procedure at only eight days old.
A half-hour later, there’s chatter coming from the hallway before Carson comes into the room donned in PPE.
“What are you doing here?” I ask incredulously.
“I came as soon as I heard. Tell me she’s going to be okay,” Carse demands.
“The surgeon who will be performing her procedure tomorrow morning seemed very positive about her prognosis. He said the PDA she has is sometimes seen in preemies and that sometimes they close on their own. However, Cadence’s is larger, causing her oxygen levels to lower, so they need to do a cardiac catheterization procedure.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, Mack. This is exactly why I didn’t want to play tonight.”
“Stop. If you wouldn’t have played, I wouldn’t have forgiven you. You didn’t need to rush here. Cadence is stable for now, and the surgery isn’t until tomorrow morning.” I pause, then ask, “Did you say anything to him—to Griff, I mean?”
“No, I didn’t say a word. He kept his distance and acted like we were strangers. Figures since he’s ghosting my sister and abandoning his daughter.”
“God, I know he misses Katie. I’m lost without her, too. But I don’t understand how he can know he has a daughter and not want to know more about her, or see her when he’s in the same state as her!” I raise my voice. Cadence stirs, so I quickly lower my voice. “This is so unlike him. Sure, it was unexpected and an accident that I got pregnant, but it isn’t like Griffin to turn his back on his responsibilities.”
“I don’t think there’s much left of the Griff we both knew growing up, Mack. Besides, now that Emery lost, there are rumors that Colorado is calling G up for the playoffs. He’s probably on a plane back to Boston to pack his things now.”
“It happens that quickly?”
