If he was even going to be willing to talk to her after the day’s shenanigans. She didn’t know why, but she felt like she was in a lot of trouble. And he didn’t even know about her maybe-probably-somehow-eventually-trying-to-kill-him plot.
“Usually it’s witches who get house-sized things dropped on them, not witches doing the house-sized dropping of things,” Ava muttered into the neck of the wine bottle as she took a swig from it. That thought got her laughing, and the laugh dissolved into something that was a mix between a groan and a sob.
She wasn’t okay.
She really, really wasn’t okay.
Ibin took the bottle away from her and set it down on the grass. That was probably for the best. She slung an arm around Ava’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “I took twelve lives before I ever killed a man. Not really. Not up close.”
Ibin and Nos had betrayed her. But she’d also kind of betrayed them. The messiness of the situation, and the desperate need forsomeone, anyone,to lean on, balanced everything out into one big stupid mess. She took the comfort where she could.
And just stared at the train.
And remembered the look on Rig’s face as it had come down on top of him.
“It’s different when you can’t see them. When they’re just another aeroplane in the sky, and you’re just shooting them down. When they’re just a painted check on the side of your fuselage, a mark of pride.”Ibin winced. “It’s another thing when they catch you off guard when you’re hunkering down in a house, and you…you have to take out a knife and…when you can see their face, when it’s either you or them. When it comes down tosurvival.”
Ava leaned her head on Ibin. She had no words.
“No one will hold it against you. You were defending yourself, even by our laws.” Ibin kissed the top of her head. “And by the looks of things”—Ibin snickered—“at least it was damnably quick.”
“What happens now?”
“I don’t know, Ava.” Ibin squeezed her gently in a tighter hug. “I really don’t know. But it will change things.”
After the moment had passed, Ava climbed to her feet, a little wavering but still sober enough to move. She let out a breath. “Ibin? I’d like to go lie down now, please. Then I’ll leave in the morning to appease Nos.”
Ibin looked between Nos and Ava. “I…think that sounds fair…yes? Nos?”
Nos looked about as put out and exhausted as she did. “I am eager to retire and have no desire to argue any more this evening. Very well.”
The walk back to their rooms was silent. She was absolutely fine with that. The moment the door shut behind them, Nos glared at her. “In the morning, you make good on your words. You leave.”
“Yeah.” She didn’t know where she’d go. She didn’t know what would happen to her. But she’d do as she said. “I’ll go.”
“Nos, no. Ava, it’s not safe—” Ibin looked beside herself.
“It’s all right, Ibin.” She smiled, though she didn’t feel like it. “At least I have—” Yeah, she was carrying it, all right. She held up the book. “This.”
“That is very much the problem. And if you’re working withhim,then—no, Nos. This is playing right into his hands.” Ibin ran her hands into her hair and fisted the strands. “How could you agree to try to free him, Ava?How?All the people you condemned to die…”
“I—” She didn’t know what to say. A rock stuck in her throat.
“She didn’t think about them, or you, Ibin. Only herself.” Nos sighed. “It does not matter, she will not succeed. She will suffer, and die, like all those before her.” He disappeared down the hallway.
She couldn’t take anymore. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t take the look on Ibin’s face. She couldn’t take the sound ofdisgust in Nos’s voice. She kinda hated him. But she didn’t disagree with him, either.
Heading to the room she was using, she shut the door behind her, threw the bolt, and tried to bite back tears. Fine. Yes, fine. She’d made a mistake. Serrik’s logic had made sense in the moment. And she’d felt locked into a corner. Hell, his logic still kind of made sense.
But she had a way out.
She just had to pretend to be on his side. Learn enough of his magic. Get close enough…?
And then rip out his heart.
She could do this.
Yeah. She could. She needed magic. And tattoos. She had no idea how to get…any of that, really. But fine.Fine.Tomorrow, she’d strike out on her own. She’d pretend to be the baddie—working in league with Serrik, while secretly waiting to betray him.
