“What have I proved, Rome?”
“You’re worthy of my time.”
“Because you’ve met me a hundred times before or because you’re genuinely interested?”
My silence was revealing.
“So, I have the hundred times we’ve met before to thank for this moment.”
Honesty gripped me by the mound, forcing a nod.
“I can fuck with that.”
“Those hundred times gave you time with me this morning. At the race. And, it got me into your car. I’m not here solely because of it. It was simply a reference. Your performance has kept me in your line of vision. Give yourself some credit, Sac.”
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
I counted each movement. Admiration didn’t leave me with another choice. His head lifted and fell twelve times.
“And, this sandwich–” I admitted, picking it up and taking another bite. His teeth impressions met my lips.
“I’m fucking with it,” he sniggered, watching as I devoured the meal he’d planned for himself.
We don’t have much of a choice, my love. Life didn’t give us one.
Wind grazedthe side of my face, pushing my hair backward. It skated across the tips of my fingers as the car cruised down the backroads of Mt. Clarke. This route, the scenic route, was easily my favorite.
The playlist that Sac had quickly grown to love played in the background, lowly, but enough for us not to wonder what was playing or what part of the song was on. I closed my eyes, attempting to place my feelings, quiet my fears, and embrace the moment.
Everything was aligned. The pain of Chemistry’s absence wasn’t as profound. The suppression of my mother’s love due to our distance didn’t hurt as bad. The current dynamic of our family didn’t feel as heavy.
The only thing weighing on me was the moment of our separation. It was minutes away, and with each passing second, I grew sadder at the revelation. Still, the fact of the matter didn’t disrupt the solace his presence represented for me.
But each time the thought crossed my mind and my body grew tense, a gentle squeeze from his enormous hands reassured me everything would be fine. The fresh wind was an added bonus. Trees made music of their own, swaying as we passed them by. From the smell of pine to aspen to birch, my nostrils expanded with joy.
Nature’s garden was my playground as a child. The habits I’d adopted in my mother’s overgrown garden had followed me into adulthood. With acres of my own, now, I couldn’t wait to revisit my fondest memories as a child.
And create new ones for my future children.
There would be some. Two at least. The jury was still out, and my discernment didn’t confirm or deny the details of my life that far into the future. It was a rather hard pill to swallow, but the idea of anything being a mystery in my world was invigorating.Even him. Because it was a gift and a curse knowing things, seeing things, feeling things, and hearing things before they happened.
The wheels of Sac’s vehicle halted, bringing my peace to a close. I inhaled deeply, opening my eyes as the familiar building settled in my sight.
We’re here.
Our time had come to an end. So had my comfort. Sac shifted gears and altered his position. Wordlessly, he faced me.
In silence, we sat. Unmoving. Both unsure of what to say to conclude our time together. As the clock ticked, anxiety swelled in my chest. I stared out of the window, preparing to bolt from his SUV.
