“This is impressive,” I comment, running my fingers through the options.
“Right? When Henry first told me to get what I needed, I went a little wild. Once I figured out what I like, I purchased a shit ton of it. Thus, our stash for today.”
Grabbing a piece of chocolate from her stash, I smile at her as I pop it in my mouth. She reaches forward for her own piece, and her scent wafts towards me. I’ve gotten used to her scent, even though it’s not my favorite, but now it almost smells different. Attempting a subtle sniff, I try to figure out what’s different about it. It’s still extremely floral, but I don’t really hate it anymore. I wonder why that is. Ray takes a few moments to select her piece, so I lean forward and grab a second so I’m prepared once I finish chewing this one.
Ray glances up at me for a moment before going back to hunting, “Your scent is different. I’d heard that happens, but haven’t really experienced it with someone I know.”
“What do you mean?” I ask after swallowing my first piece.
“You’re still all cinnamon-y, but now you’ve got some cedar hints and tiny hints of something else. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
I must be emitting some of my Mates’ scents now in addition to my own. When I explain that to Ray and clarify she’s smelling sandalwood, her response is a smile and a nod.
“That makes sense! Most people I’ve met haven’t mated yet or have already mated. It’s kind of neat smelling the change.”
“It’s weird being on this end,” I tell her, “Your scent is the same, but it’s not something I mind anymore.”
Ray quirks an eyebrow and talks through her chocolate, “You sayin’ I stink?”
“No!” I reply, laughing, “But it was too floral for my own tastes. I wonder if mating with someone means you don’t mind other scents as much.”
“Nowthatwould be cool! Okay, stop stalling, tell me the story,” Ray commands.
So, I do. I catch her up on some of the dates, some of my own history with trust issues, and how I got them. I tell her about how I tried my best not to touch anyone with my skin because my Touch Loss means I can’t feel a Match through touch, and I didn’t want to be lied to again. Then I talked about how each of the guys managed to touch me, and how easy it was to believe them, despite myself. Their smells were too perfect to be anything other than a Match.
I explain the dynamics of the three guys she doesn’t know and detail our date to Date ‘n’ Busters, which gets me a lot of heart eyes and giggles from her. She probably got more detail than she bargained for on my feelings for each of them and how they’ve grown, but I keep anything beyond kissing out of the story. She gives me knowing looks, telling me that she’s well aware of what happens between Matches.
Then, I explain the disastrous teasing of the guys that ended in my heat starting. Her eyes widen in surprise, and her face contorts into anger as I explain how Jesse and Simon didn’t stay. How I watched Simon walk out the door after arguing with Henry and Vic. I described the deep loss I felt during my heat and the despondency I’d given in to once Vic and Henry left.
“Then Henry came and swept me away here. He apologized profusely, but I’m the one who pushed him out of the house, thinking I needed to be alone. So I don’t think he needs to apologize, and I told him that, but I’m letting him do what he needs to do to feel like he’s made amends. I do agree with him onthe living together side, though. It feels fast, but it feels right,” I finish.
Ray sighs, looking as exhausted as I feel after that story. Her first response is to lean over, toss some of the chocolate my way, then grab her own handful. We eat in companionable silence, letting the weight of my words sink over us.
“Well, shit.” Ray finally comments.
For whatever reason, her response hits me and I can’t help but giggle. She looks at me, a little confused as to why I’m giggling, but I can’t stop now.
“That was so perfect,” I explain through the laughter.
We both give in to the moment and just laugh. There’s nothing particularly funny about what she said, but the simplicity and the accuracy of her response was so anti-climactic, and that just struck me as funny. A complete laughing fit hits us, and anytime we calm, our eyes meet, and we just start all over again. It’s cathartic in a way I didn’t know I needed.
When we finally calm down, Ray looks at me and asks, “So, are you, like, super angry?”
“No, I’m just sad,” I sigh.
“Well, that’s dumb,” she says with the tact of all her teenage years.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I mean, be sad, I guess, but you should be angry. You should be pissed!”
I can see where she’s coming from, but I’m not sure if I really have the ability to get angry about it.
“I guess so, I just feel sad and abandoned, you know? It was their choice not to stay. How can I be mad at them for doing what they felt they needed to?”
Ray throws her hands into the air, “How can younotbe? Yeah, they said they weren’t ready for a bond, so why not just ask if they can join but not bond? You weren’t exactly in a rationalplace to think about proposing that, and if they really wanted you so badly, why didn’t they fight for you? I’m aware that I’m technically still in high school, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”
“I never said you were!” I protest.
