Page 68 of Knot Gonna Give You Up
Henry huffs a laugh, “Completely forgot about that part of the bond, which is funny because it’s why I came to you today. I’m kicking myself for not staying with you, or asking you to come with me after your heat. Omega’s need extra cuddles and pampering after a heat to feel secure, but you insisted you were fine, so I didn’t push. Next time I’m going to listen to my instincts and not the words you say.”
“I wondered how you knew. I didn’t realize I was broadcasting it at all. Vic never called, though. He’s at home with Simon now, but I didn’t hear from him.” I reply.
“I called and told him I was going to you, so he didn’t have to worry. Fun fact for you that I learned last week, as Mated Matches, we can feel where the other person is. If it’s somewhere you know, I think it’s more specific, but you’ll always know what direction they’re in.”
“That’s so cool! It’ll make finding you guys easier if we’re all separated…” I realize at the end of that statement that we are, in fact, separated, but we don’t all have bonds.
“They’ll come around, I promise,” Henry whispers in my hair.
I hold him tighter, “I hope so.”
thirty
SIMON
Ispent three days in agony, imagining all the ways that Vic and Henry were pleasuring Josie. Imagining how Vic and I could have pleasured each other while adding Josie to the mix. There’s no part of me that doesn’t want that experience. My imagination runs wild as I go through the motions for the three days that Vic is gone.
They both should hate me. I thinkIhate me right now. Vic has been home for a day now, and while I didn’t see him at all yesterday, his presence was everywhere—shoes scattered in new spots, extra dishes in the sink. At first, my sorrow got more intense, but now that he’s been home for a day, I’m starting to get angry. So he’s just going to avoid me? Is that it? We almost never miss each other during the day, so it’s got to be intentional.
Anger at him and myself grows throughout my workday, and by the time I get home, I’m ready to explode with anger and frustration. There’s not even a true focus for all the emotions swirling in me. It’s almost as if they’ve taken a life of their own, and I can feel them scratching at me under my skin. Everything’s more intense and I can’t focus for shit. My employees avoided me all day, and on the one hand, I’m glad nobody bothered me,but I’m upset that nobody even checked on me. How stupid is that?
When I walk in the door, I see Vic’s shoes and his keys in the key tray. His scent is stronger today, and that tells me he’s working from home. My instincts are torn between seeking him out jumping his bones or beating the shit out of him. I can feel the restlessness I’ve been struggling with rising, but I do my damndest to lock that shit down.
Instead of acting on my instincts, I kick my shoes off, dump my keys, and go to the kitchen for water. Maybe a cool drink will help. I can dream. I chug down a massive glass of water, noting that it’s almost gone when I finish.
“Damn, I was thirsty,” I mutter to myself.
My ass lands in a chair as I hold myself back from going after Vic. Deep down, I know I’m not really mad athim, he’s just a convenient outlet. I’m mad at myself mostly, for my own damn cowardice. I just can’t get past that feeling of rejection that resurfaced when I heard about Henry and Vic deciding to bond Josie. Now I might have missed out on something perfect, something special. I’m such an idiot.
Vic’s footsteps sound in the house and get closer, telling me that I’m about to be put to the test. The knowledge that he’s coming spikes the restless feeling crawling under my skin. Determined to control myself, I take a deep breath and try to ground myself. His footsteps stop when he reaches the kitchen.
“Hey.” Vic sounds a bit surprised that I’m here.
“Hey.”
The air feels thick with tension, but I’m not sure what else to say. Vic grabs himself a soda out of the refrigerator and opens it before sitting down next to me. He starts talking to me about something, but I can’t hear him over the roaring in my head.
I can smell her on him. It’s faint, but it’s there, and I want to drown in the scent. It feels as if I can’t breathe air that containsher scent, I’m going to die. The only thing that will keep me afloat is her scent. My hands start to shake a little, so I grab onto my glass like it will ground me. Instincts are screaming in my head to fight or fuck, and I’m a hairsbreadth away from exploding.
“You okay?” Vic asks.
I clear my throat a few times before I can speak. “No, not particularly.”
I stand and move away from him, needing the space. Something is wrong with me, and I can’t figure it out. My feet carry me back and forth, needing to walk but unable to leave the room just yet. Vic’s eyes follow me, and I pace back and forth in the kitchen.
“Anything I can help with?” he asks. I can hear the genuine concern, but I can’t accept it.
I laugh bitterly, “Like you helped with Josie and the Pack proposal?”
“That’s not fair…” Vic starts, but I’m too keyed up to listen.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re the one who pushed me out! Fuck you!” I yell, interrupting him.
Vic getspissedand there’s a small, vindictive part of me that is incredibly pleased. I want someone else to feel what I’m feeling. I need an outlet, and it looks like Vic is going to be the lucky winner to receive it. He pushes back from the table and storms over to me.
Now, here’s the thing. I know that I’m being unreasonable. Vic should have been more open with me, sure, but me picking a fight like this isn’t the best way to handle things. However, I can’t seem to stop. It’s like my body is begging for it, and I’m tired of resisting it. When he steps up to me, Josie’s scent hitshard, it smells like her but amplified to the max. My Alpha is triggered.Mine. Heat. Protect. Rut.
A growl bubbles up from deep within my chest, and all I can see is a challenger to my Omega. Baring my teeth at Vic, I shove him out of the way with all my strength. He stumbles back a few steps before catching himself and looking at me in disbelief.
