Page 66 of Knot Gonna Give You Up
“Pack,” I say as we all lie together in a pile of love and exhaustion.
twenty-nine
JOSIE
My heat went for three days this time, and I can feel Vic and Henry right beside my heart in my chest. Henry’s steady presence bolsters me, makes me feel like I always have someone in my corner. Vic’s presence is a little more subtle, a steady affection and desire to ensure the ones he loves are happy and taken care of.
I’m not sure what I feel like, but it’s probably not all sunshine and rainbows. When I woke from my heat, I cried for an hour straight. I knew, Iknewthat Jesse and Simon weren’t ready, but they didn’t even try. I watched as they left without saying anything to me. Once I was lost to my heat, I could tell someone was missing, but Vic and Henry kept me so distracted, I could never figure out why things didn’t feel quite right.
My Omega is sitting in her proverbial corner, sad and a bit despondent that two of her Matches don’t want her. Honestly? Same. I thought, well, I guess it doesn’t matter now. I’ve managed to move myself to the couch today, now that the heat is over, but it’s only been a day since things ended. Vic and Henry helped me get cleaned up, fed me, washed the sheets for me, and helped care for me the entire first day after the heat ended.
They both offered to stay longer, but I waved them off. I thought for sure I was fine, but after they left, I curled back up in my nest, feeling like part of me was missing. Today, though, today I manage to get to the couch to wallow instead of my nest. Improvement. It’s been two days since my heat ended, and I’m torn between feeling comforted by Henry and Vic in my chest and absolutely devastated that there are two distinct missing bonds I can feel.
My 80s music playlist is filling my house with sound, so I don’t go completely crazy from the silence. I snuggle further into the blanket pile I have on my couch and take a sip from the water bottle I promised Henry and Vic I’d drink. I have zero desire to drink anything, but I promised them both I’d stay hydrated.
The moment I set my water bottle down next to me, the song switches to “Jessie’s Girl”, and I lose all semblance of the calm and cool I was pretending to have. My throat closes up, and my eyes burn with new tears as I listen to the lyrics. God, I wish I was Jesse’s girl, but I don’t know that it’ll ever happen. The guys must feel my sorrow down the bond, because my phone begins to buzz with incoming calls.
I ignore it and choose to wallow. Fuck maturity, my heart feels like it’s in shreds from missing Simon and Jesse. Then I feel guilty for not being happier that I have Vic and Henry, and the tears double. How can everything feel so wrong and so right at the same time?
The songs keep playing, and while I’m no longer sobbing, there’s a steady stream of tears running down my face. How do people survive this? This pain of knowing someone is missing, but threaded through with joy from who you have? It’s maddening. Vaguely, I hear the door open, and my bonds flood with concern and love, bringing my awareness back to the moment. Of course, the minute this happens, I start to giggle.
Turning in my blanket burrito, I see Henry standing there, hands on his hips and a teasing look on his face.
“Did you do this on purpose?” he asks.
“Do what? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I reply innocently.
He hums, “I think you Rick Rolled me on purpose.”
My giggles take over as “Never Gonna Give You Up” plays on the speakers throughout my house. Henry doubles down on my giggles by doing Rick Astley’s dance from the music video. Now my tears are from laughter instead of sorrow. How does he know exactly what to do? Maybe it’s a Match thing.
Henry walks over to me and forces himself into my blanket burrito. I’ve never been more thankful that I bought a deep couch than in this moment. It leaves plenty of room for us to snuggle up together. He curves around me, the big spoon to my little. So I obviously scoot back with my butt to try and tease him and get closer. Squeezing me once, he sighs in my ear.
“Better?” he asks.
I hum in happiness, “Everything’s better when you’re around.”
“Good.” With that, he rips the covers off, smacks my ass and gets out of bed.
“What the fuck?” I borderline yell at him.
“Where are your bags?” he asks, walking toward my room.
I scramble off the couch, following him like a newborn foal trying to walk. The blankets have my legs so tangled I start to swear at them before finally getting free. In the meantime, Henry has found two of my suitcases and is raiding my closets, throwing in sweatpants, soft shirts, hoodies, all soft, lounge clothing. I dart in front of him to snag my favorite comfy pair of jeans. Just in case.
Henry starts to eye my bedding, and I step in between him and my bed. Nobody gets to touch my blankets right now. He’llmess them all up, and I’m not allowing that. A growl surprises me as it escapes from my throat.
“Don’t touch my blankets,” I tell him.
Henry holds up his hands in surrender.
“Okay, pack them up for me, I’m taking you home and I want you to have all the things you need.”
I bite my lip, trying to figure out what to do next. Do I bring all my blankets? Do I bring things from my nest instead of my bed?
“Hurry up, Omega, or I’ll do it for you,” Henry threatens, despite telling me to pack things up on my own.
When I try to glare at him, he raises an eyebrow in challenge. My Omega wants to roll over and submit, and judging by the slow heat building in his eyes, Henry can tell. Deciding I want my nest blankets, I turn to stomp out of the room.
