Page 45 of Knot Gonna Give You Up
The voice modulator makes them sound like chipmunks, and I almost fall off the stool laughing. When the guys laugh, it just adds more chipmunk sounds to the situation, and I’m now laughing so hard there are tears streaking down my face. “Jim” comes over with some tissues, and I mop the tears and take some deep breaths to compose myself.
“Oh my god, I didn’t know it would be chipmunk voices, sorry, phew,” I say, taking one last big breath at the end.
“Bachelor number two?” Jim prompts.
“I’m always watching over you, baby, so I’d be an eagle, ready to keep an eye on you.” Two responds.
I fan myself, pretending to be overcome by the answers. The guys have a small feed of me that they can watch, even though I can’t see them.
Three doesn’t wait, “Having you touch me is the best feeling in the world, so I’d be a chinchilla, ready for you to caress me all the time.”
“What you really need, bachelorette, is someone to holdyou, so I’d be a monkey, holding on to you all day long.” Four wraps up.
I can’t stop the giggles that burst from me, “You guys are so cheesy and I love it so much!”
Jim moves on to the next question. “Question two: Is a narwhal a unicorn? Why or why not?”
The chipmunk laughter comes through the speakers again, and I try so hard not to crack up at the sound. It doesn’t work great, but at least I can pay attention through the laughter this time.
Bachelor one, “No way, Unicorns are considered to be non-existent, but we already know Josie is a true unicorn, so narwhals cannot be unicorns.”
Bachelor two, “Narwhals are definitely unicorns, the unicorns saw Josie and knew they couldn’t compete, so they submerged into the sea.”
Bachelor three, “Narwhals can’t be unicorns, there’s no such thing. Now, an Alicorn, those aredefinitelyreal.”
Bachelor four, “Narwhals are definitely unicorns, they bring joy and magic to the sea, there’s no other explanation.”
Jim watches me laughing, waiting for his cue to continue. He clears his throat and asks the final question.
“What is your favorite thing about Josie?”
Bachelor one, “Her laugh, it brings me joy any time I hear it.”
Bachelor two, “Her mind, she’s so smart and so caring, it blows me away.”
Bachelor three, “How mischievous she is while looking so innocent.”
Bachelor four, “How good of a snuggler she is. I don’t know many people who can snuggle at a Josie level.”
My cheeks turn red, “Aw, guys… thanks. I had expected silly answers, but that’s so sweet.”
Jim is smiling as he looks at the guys. “What question do you four want Josie to answer?”
There’s high-pitched murmuring coming from the speakers, and more laughter spills out of me at the sound. I’m not sure I’ll ever not find the noise funny. One of the bachelors answers Jim after a moment of whispers.
“We want to know what Josie’s favorite thing about each of us is.”
Jim turns his attention to me. “Josie?”
“Can I guess who they are while I answer?” I ask.
“Absolutely, I’ll write down your guesses as you go, and we’ll do the grand reveal after,” Jim says.
I squirm a little in my chair to get comfortable before I start talking.
“Bachelor one, Henry, my favorite thing about you is your confidence in us. Even before we Matched, you liked me enough to buy me a gift. It made me so happy. Bachelor two, Jesse, my favorite thing about you is how clever you are. You like to hide it, but I can see it, and it’s amazing. Bachelor three, Simon, your humor and zest for life bring out my own, and it’s so much fun to be near you. I would definitely pet you if you ask. Bachelor four, my Vic, thanks for being my monkey for years and holding on to me. That’s my favorite thing about you.” I clear my throat, surprised by how deep that went. Didn’t expect to get emotional.
“Are you ready for the reveal?” Jim asks.
