Page 73 of Wisteria and Cloves
"What happens now?" I asked, my voice steadier than I expected. "If I stop taking it immediately?"
Julian set my phone down, turning to face me more directly. "Dr. Chen has prescribed a transitional medication that will prevent you from going into immediate heat while allowing your natural hormones to gradually reactivate. She's sending the prescription to the pharmacy now and recommends you start it tonight."
"Tonight," I repeated, the reality of the situation finally beginning to sink in. "Will it... will it hurt? Going off the old medication?"
Julian's expression softened. "Not physically, but Dr. Chen warns there may be emotional fluctuations as your suppressed hormones begin to rebalance. She's recommended daily check-ins with her office for the first week to monitor your adjustment."
"Like what kind of emotional fluctuations?" I pressed, needing to understand what I was facing.
Nicolaus answered, his clinical knowledge coming to the forefront. "Initially, you might experience mood swings—periods of heightened emotion followed by emotional fatigue. Your senses will likely become more acute, particularly smell and touch. You may find yourself more sensitive to temperature changes, and your energy levels could fluctuate unpredictably."
My fingers twisted in my lap as I tried to process this information. "So I'll be unstable."
"Not unstable," Miles corrected firmly, leaning forward in his chair. "You'll be adjusting. There's a significant difference." His green eyes held mine with steady reassurance. "Think of it like learning to walk again after having your legs in casts for years. Your body will need time to remember how to function naturally."
Christopher returned from the window, his expression still troubled but determined. "We'll be here through all of it. Every mood swing, every difficult moment, every adjustment."
"What if I become too much to handle?" I asked, voicing the fear that had been growing in my chest. "What if I'm emotional or needy or—"
"Then we'll handle it," Julian interrupted gently but firmly. "Lilianna, you're not a burden we're tolerating. You're someone we care about deeply, and caring for you during this transition isn't a hardship—it's a privilege."
The conviction in his voice made my throat tight with emotion. "You mean that?"
"Every word," Miles confirmed, his green eyes warm with sincerity.
I looked around at the four of them—Julian beside me on the couch, his presence solid and protective; Miles watching me with gentle understanding; Christopher, his expression fierce with determination; and Nicolaus, his analytical mind already planning how to support me through this transition.
"Okay," I whispered, making the decision that would change everything. "I'll start the new medication tonight."
Julian's hand found mine, his warm fingers wrapping around mine with gentle pressure. "We'll pick up the prescription right away. The sooner you begin, the smoother the transition should be."
"I'll go," Christopher volunteered immediately. "I need to get a few ingredients for dinner anyway." He paused, his gray eyes finding mine. "Is there anything else you need while I'm out? Comfort food, tea, anything that might help you feel better tonight?"
I considered his offer, touched by his thoughtfulness. "Maybe some of that chamomile tea? And..." I hesitated, feeling foolish for the request.
"And?" Christopher prompted gently, his expression encouraging.
"Ice cream?" I admitted with a small, embarrassed smile. "I know it's childish, but I've been craving it lately, and if I'm going to have mood swings..."
Christopher's face lit up with delight. "Not childish at all. What flavor?"
"Vanilla," I said quickly, then paused. "Actually, whatever flavor you think is best. I trust your judgment."
The simple statement seemed to affect him deeply, his gray eyes softening with emotion. "I'll find something perfect. Maybe a few different options so you can try.”
After Christopher left to pick up the prescription and ice cream, the house settled into a quieter energy. Nicolaus excused himself to research transitional medications and their effects, while Miles returned to his gardening magazine, though I noticed his attention kept drifting to me with concerned glances.
Julian remained beside me on the couch, his presence steady and reassuring. "Would you like to start setting up your nesting materials now?" he asked softly. "It might be good to have yourspace properly arranged before you start the new medication tonight."
I nodded, feeling a flutter of excitement despite my anxiety about the medical transition. "I'd like that. I want to create something that feels... mine."
I glanced over to Miles, biting my lip, “Would you like to join us Miles?”
Miles looked up from his magazine, his green eyes brightening with genuine surprise and pleasure. "I'd love to," he said, setting the publication aside with immediate decisiveness. "I've been curious about what you selected."
We gathered the bags from the entryway, Julian and Miles each taking several while I carried the smaller packages containing the scarf and some of the decorative items. As we climbed the stairs to my room, I felt a strange mixture of nervousness and anticipation. Inviting them into my most private space to help arrange it felt intimate in a way I hadn't fully considered when making the offer.
My room was neat but showed signs of my earlier attempts at nesting—blankets arranged in a rough circle on the bed, pillows positioned with careful precision, and small items I'd collected placed strategically around the space. It wasn't much compared to what we were about to create, but it represented my first fumbling attempts at claiming space for myself.
