Page 40 of Wisteria and Cloves
He nodded once more, his expression warming slightly. "I'll be back around nine if you'd like to talk further. Otherwise, dinner will be served at seven, though there's no obligation to join if you need more time to yourself."
With that, he slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. I sat motionless in the center of the bed, trying to process everything he'd shared. Freedom of choice. Medical autonomy. The possibility that I could walk away if I wanted to.
It was too much to absorb all at once. I lay back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling as my mind raced through implications. If what Nicolaus said was true—and I had no reason to doubt his legal expertise—then my entire understanding of this arrangement was wrong. I wasn't propertybeing transferred from one owner to another. I wasn't obligated to make this work or face disgrace and rejection.
I was just a person, being offered a choice.
The realization should have been liberating, but instead it filled me with a strange mixture of hope and terror. If I truly had choices, that meant I had to make them. If I wasn't bound by obligation, then whatever happened next would be my responsibility. My decision. The weight of that freedom felt heavier than any restriction my parents had ever placed on me.
I curled onto my side, pulling the comforter tighter around my shoulders. The room was growing darker as evening approached, shadows lengthening across the floor. I should get up, unpack properly, and prepare for dinner. But exhaustion washed over me in waves, emotional fatigue from a day of constant adjustment and revelations.
Just five minutes, I told myself, letting my eyes drift closed. Five minutes to rest before facing more newness, more choices, more overwhelming kindness from these men who wanted me to just be myself.
Chapter Fourteen
Nicolaus
I’d just left her room and let out a sigh, glancing at the door before making my way downstairs.
I could hear the others in the kitchen, their voices a blend of concern and cautious hope. Julian would want an update on Lilianna's state of mind. Christopher would want reassurance that she felt welcome. Miles would be concerned about overwhelming her. Each responding in their own way to the responsibility we'd taken on.
As I descended the stairs, their conversation halted, three pairs of eyes turning toward me with expectation.
"How is she?" Julian asked immediately, his usual composure slipping to reveal genuine concern.
"Processing," I replied simply, moving to the refrigerator for water. "Overwhelmed but stable. She's resting now."
Christopher fidgeted with a dish towel, twisting it between his fingers. "Did she say anything about the room? About staying? Is she comfortable?"
"She hasn't unpacked fully," I observed, taking a long drink of water. "She doesn’t know what to do with herself or act.”
Julian leaned against the counter, his expression thoughtful. "That's understandable. Making a space your own requires accepting that it's truly yours."
"It's more than that," I continued, setting down my water glass. "She's been conditioned to believe she has no real choices. I explained her legal position—that she's not bound by the arrangement her parents made, that she could leave if she wanted to."
Miles straightened, his green eyes sharpening with interest. "How did she take that?"
"Shock, initially. Then something approaching terror." I ran a hand through my hair, considering how to explain what I'd observed. "She's never been taught how to choose. The concept of genuine free will, is foreign to her."
Christopher's expression crumpled. "She's afraid of making the wrong decision because she doesn't know what the right one looks like."
"Precisely." I moved to lean against the counter beside Julian, my analytical mind still processing Lilianna's reactions. "She asked if she could leave, if she could just walk away. When I confirmed she could, she looked like I'd told her she could fly."
Julian's jaw tightened, and I could scent the protective anger radiating from him in controlled waves. "Twenty-three years of being told she had no choice. Of course the concept of having the freedom to do so now would be overwhelming.”
"There's something else," I continued, knowing they needed the full picture. "Her medical care. She's never spoken directlyto a doctor—her parents handled everything. She doesn't even understand her own physiology."
Miles cursed under his breath. "The heat suppressants."
"Among other things." I pulled out my phone, checking the time. "I've scheduled her with Dr. Chen for Thursday. She'll need gradual reduction rather than immediate cut off. That could be bad for her body and could make her go into shock if she did something like that.The good news," I continued, tucking my phone away, "is that she's agreed to the appointment. I explained that Dr. Chen would speak directly to her, and treat her as the primary decision-maker."
"And she was okay with that?" Christopher asked, his eyes wide with concern.
"Not okay, exactly. More... cautiously hopeful." I reached for my water again. "I also told her about the gradual heat restoration process. She seemed relieved that we weren't expecting her to go off suppressants immediately."
Julian nodded slowly. "That's something, at least."
"She's been taught that her heat is shameful," I added, my voice hardening slightly. "Another tool of control—convince her that her natural biology is inappropriate, something to be managed rather than experienced."
