Page 180 of Wisteria and Cloves
That got my attention. “About…?”
“About Lydia,” Julian said, his thumb brushing my cheek. “She’s been asking about you. Wondering if you’d be open to painting with her sometime.”
My brow lifted in surprise but a smile stretched across my lips as his words, “Really?”
“She liked you,” he said, smiling faintly. “And she sees pieces of herself in you. Lucian thinks it might do you both good.”
“I’d like that,” I said after a moment. “It’s rare to meet someone who understands without needing it explained.”
“She won’t expect you to be anyone but yourself,” Julian said. “Neither do we.”
I nestled closer to him, letting his words settle into the spaces that still hurt.
“It’s strange,” I murmured, “how healing doesn’t always feel like some grand moment. Sometimes it’s just… being held by someone who sees you.”
Julian kissed the top of my head. “Then I’ll keep holding you until the hurt quiets.” I closed my eyes and let myself breathe—slow and steady, surrounded by a kind of love I was still learning to trust.
And for once, I didn’t feel like I had to earn it.
We stayed there, wrapped up in each other, the room dim except for the amber glow of the bedside lamp. His warmth anchored me, his breath ghosting steady and slow along my collarbone. My head rested beneath his chin, I was straddling his lap as I listened to his heartbeat. His presence was enough—safe, grounding, and quietly intense. The kind of silence I never got with my mother. The kind of closeness that didn’t come with performance.
“I’ve never had a space like this before,” I murmured into the quiet, my fingers brushing along the edge of the soft fabric of his shirt. “Where I could just… exist. No pressure. No perfect posture or expectations. Just me.”
Julian’s hand moved to my thigh, anchoring me with a slow squeeze. “You never needed toearnrest, Lilianna,” he said softly. “Not from us. Not ever.”
My throat tightened. I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. I wanted to stay here forever, to burrow down into this quiet and never leave.
“You said something earlier,” I whispered. “About people recognizing the truth…the authenticity of a person.” Julian hummed in acknowledgment, his fingers drawing slow circles along my knee.
“I don’t even know who that authentic person is yet,” I admitted. “I feel like I’m unwrapping layers and I don’t always know what’s underneath.” Julian tilted my chin gently, just enough that our eyes met. His gaze held me there, steady and searching.
“That’s the beautiful part,” he said, his voice low, serious. “You don’t need to know yet. We’re not in love with who you were forced to be—we’re in love with the woman you’re becoming and will become.”
My breath caught. It wasn’t even the words themselves—it was the way he said them. Like a promise. Like it was truth carved into stone. He leaned in slowly, his lips brushing against mine—barely there, more breath than contact. When he finally kissed me, it was soft. His hand slid to my lower back, pulling me closer to him so that I could feeleverything.
My fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, grounding myself in him, in the moment. There was no fear. No guilt. No second-guessing whether I was allowed to want this. His mouth movedto the curve of my jaw, then lower—leaving the lightest trace of heat at the edge of my throat.
“What didn’t get enough from the others the last couple days?” Julian teased as he pulled away so he could look down at me, though his eyes were dark.Hungry.As he looked at me.
“I haven’t had you though.” I muttered, feeling confident. I heard him give a low growl as his grip on me tightened.
“Tell me if I need to stop,” he murmured low as gave my neck another kiss, before his teeth scrapped against my skin, causing me to gasp.
“You don’t,” I whispered, voice shaky but sure.
His arms tightened just slightly. “Good. Because I don’t think I can be in this room with you, like this, much longer and keep pretending I don’t want to devour you.”
A tremor ran through me at his words. He didn’t rush me. He never did. He just let the tension build, slow and warm and consuming.
I leaned back slightly in his lap, studying the way his hair had begun to fall into his eyes. “You’re always so in control,” I whispered. “Do you ever let yourself fall apart?”
His eyes darkened—stormy, intense, and so full of emotion it made my breath catch, “You want me to lose controllittle omega?”A shiver went through my own body at the ‘little omega’ being spoken to me.
“Yes Alpha.” I told him, biting my lip wondering if calling him that would cross a line or not. I never addressed them by designation like this…then again they haven’t either.
Julian's entire body went rigid, his breathing stopping completely for a heartbeat. When his eyes met mine again, dark with something primal and possessive flickering in their depths that I'd never seen before.
"Say it again," he commanded, his voice dropping to a gravelly whisper that sent heat pooling low in my belly.
