Page 164 of Wisteria and Cloves
When I finally lifted the bow, it felt odd, but at the same time it felt freeing. I was doing something I always dreamed of…and no one was stopping me…but encouraging me.
“Don’t worry about making something pretty,” she said. “Just breathe. Let her speak.” I drew the bow slowly across the open G string, flinching at the squeal it made. My cheeks flushed, but Elena grinned.
“Beautiful.” She gave a laugh at the look I probably had on my face.
“That was… painful,” I muttered, glancing at the violin bow with an almost betrayed look. I hadn’t expected to play something, but I didn’t expect the first thing I played to sound like nails on a chalkboard.
“That was honest,” she said. “Try again. But this time, breathe.” So I did. The next note wasn’t clean—but it was better. A long, slow sound, trembling at the edges but undeniably music. I stared at the string like it had conjured magic. My heart fluttered.
Again.
Another note. Stronger. Fuller.
And again.
I lost count of how many times I tried—how many wrong notes squeaked out, how many moments I laughed or flinched or gasped when the bow caught. But Elena never stopped smiling. Never rushed me. Every note, no matter how flawed, was progress.
“This is the first thing I’ve ever done just forme,” I whispered, halfway through practicing my open strings.
“I know,” she replied softly, the genuine smile on her face as she watched me. “And it shows.”
The hour passed in a blur of vibrations and wonder. When we finished, Elena helped me polish the strings and showed me how to store the bow properly, explaining rosin and tension with easy, practiced grace. I closed the case gently, pressing my palm to the lid before latching it shut.
It felt like I was tucking something precious inside. A version of myself I hadn’t dared believe I was allowed to meet.
“I’ll see you next week,” Elena said as she handed me a printed copy of the practice exercises. “And don’t worry—your fingers will be sore tomorrow. That’s how you know you were brave.”
I smiled through the tightness in my throat. “Thank you. Really. You’ve given me something I didn’t think I could ever have.”
Elena reached up and patted my cheek, eyes bright. “No, sweetheart. You took it. And you’ll keep taking what’s yours. One note at a time.”
When I stepped back outside, the sunlight had shifted. The street was still quiet, the storefronts humming with the calm of the afternoon. I spotted Nicolaus a few feet away, leaning against the car, but he had his phone in his hand, typing something out.
I just stood on the sidewalk for a moment, violin case in hand, the breeze lifting the hem of my dress as I just watched him for a moment, a smile on my face. These men in my life…they wereeverything to me. They made me a home…given me love….let me go from the shy, unsure girl to more outgoing…curious. Something I never thought possible.
I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I loved them. They changed my life, and I hoped I was doing the same to them. I would forever be grateful to them and would show that by loving them and staying by their side until they no longer wanted me.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Nicolaus
I watched Lilianna go into the music store, my lips curving into a smile. The way her eyes had lit up when she realized what I'd planned—that moment would stay with me forever. She'd looked at me like I'd handed her the world, when really all I'd done was give her permission to take what was already hers.
My phone buzzed with a text from Julian in the group chat:How's the date going?
I typed back quickly:Better than expected. She's in her violin lesson now.
Miles: How did the morning go? Did she enjoy the swimming?
Christopher: More importantly, did YOU enjoy the swimming?
I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I typed back:The morning was perfect. She's incredible.
Christopher: That's our boy. Finally lost that legendary control, didn't you?
I laughed shaking my head, typing back a response:Shut up.
Julian: He's not denying it
