He called out for me but I ignored him and pushed through the crowd until I was outside the bar.
I leaned against the wall and tried to fill my lungs with air. The sky was black and twinkling with stars and the full moon. I could hear laughter from inside the bar and the sounds of crickets chirping but neither of them was as loud as my heart pounding in my chest.
I heard before I saw Nathan rush out of the bar. He saw me before I had the chance to hide and he walked over to me.
“You should go back inside.” I said without looking up at him but he didn’t listen to me.
Instead of listening to me, he came closer and I tried to step out of his reach but he caged me into the wall with his body and I cast my gaze down to avoid looking him in the eye but he wasn’t having any of that. He gripped my jaw with one hand and forced me to look at him.
“Why do you keep running from me?” He sounded tired and exasperated. “Tell me that you don’t feel this.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Is that why you won’t look at me?” his tone was mocking and it was enough to have me snapping my eyes up to his.
The raw frustration and desire in his eyes knocked the breath out of me and I wondered how long ago he started to look at me like that. I wondered if it was as long as I had or longer.
“Nathan,”
I didn’t know why I was saying his name; I just knew that I had to. He shut his eyes and muttered the word fuck over and over again under his breath.
“I said I wouldn’t do this again. I promised myself I would let you do it first.” He shut his eyes and swallowed deeply, “Ask me to kiss you.”
“I-,”
“Please sunshine, put me out of my misery and ask me.”
I knew I shouldn’t and my brain kept screaming no but what came out was, “Please kiss me.”
“Thank fuck,” he muttered and then his lips were on mine.
CHAPTER 23: 1 DAY AFTER…. WELL, HIM
I woke up to Nathan sitting at the edge of the bed with a coffee mug in his hands that he handed over to me
“Welcome to the land of the living.” He teased and I rolled my eyes but took the mug anyway.
“You brought coffee; that isn’t playing fair.”
“I never play fair.”
The corner of my lips tilted up in a smile and I brought the mug to my lips. There was just the right amount of sugar.
“Do you regret it yet?” he asked and I shook my head, “Good.”
Before I could ask what he meant by that, he took the mug out of my hands, placed it on the bedside table. His hand cupped my jaw and he tilted my head back so that for thefirst time this morning, I was looking straight at him. Before I could make a snarky statement, he kissed me.
I don’t know why, but a part of me thought that everything would stop yesterday and today we would go back to pretending to hate each other but clearly Nathan didn’t have the same idea. I was so prepared for everything to fall apart that I never thought ahead for the possibility that it might not.
I hated being in uncharted territory and situations I hadn’t planned ahead for. This situation with Nathan was like being thrown into the deep ocean without a life vest or a boat. I was confused on how to go ahead and I hated it.
“I can hear the wheels in your head turning,” he said against my lips, “Do you ever just turn your brain off?”
“Some of us need it all the time so we don’t make stupid mistakes.”
He pulled back and when I looked at him, his eyes were dancing with amusement. “Get dressed, we’re going out for breakfast.”
The shift in the conversation almost gave me whiplash, “What?”
