“What do you want from me, Nathan?” I hated how tired I sounded. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you right now.”
“Then don’t fight with me,” he made it sound so simple, “For once would you just admit that you’re not fine. As much as you like to pretend that you’re this emotional robot, you’re not. You feel things and when you shove them down, they will spring up in random ways that you don’t expect. Take your unwarranted hate for this town as an example.”
“My hate for this town has nothing to do with it.”
“So you’re telling me that you don’t hate small towns because your fiancé cheated on you and left you to move to one?”
Suddenly I was angry. How dare he act like he knew me? He knew nothing about my personal life or my relationship with Joseph and how it ended.
“You know nothing about my relationship and about me.” I spat, “Do not pretend like you understand me because you do not. So do not waltz in here and act like you understand me and have all the answers.”
“I understand you better than you think.”
“That’s rich,” I sneered, “Just because we kissed one time doesn’t mean that you understand me. It was a fucking-,”
“Say the word mistake,” he cut me off, “I dare you.”
We were both breathing harshly and I looked up at him and realized how close we were actually standing. Our noses were almost touching and we were practically breathing each other’s air at this point. The air crackled between us like electricity and one of his hands found their way to my waist while the other slowly brushed my cheek.
I let my eyes fall closed in an attempt to regain whatever fragments of my composure that I could. His hand cupped my cheek and his thumb brushed across my skin softly over and over again and against all odds I felt my eyes begin to water.
“Tell me what you feel.” His voice was a sharp contrast to how it was before. It was softer, almost careful.
“I don’t know.”
“All I need is one word. You don’t need to think about it toohard; just tell me the first thing that comes to-”
“Anger,” the word left my lips before I could even process it.
“That’s good; what are you angry at?” I stayed silent because honestly, I didn’t know, “Are you angry at him for what he did?”
“No,” he didn’t respond so I opened my eyes and saw him looking down at me disapprovingly, “Yes, I am. I know I shouldn’t but-,”
“Who says you shouldn’t?” I was so caught off guard by the question that I had to replay it over in my head before I understood what he had asked, “You have every right to be upset.”
“No I don’t,” I shook my head, “He fell in love and I can’t hold that against him.”
“He cheated on you.”
“I know that,” I spat. I took a breath to calm myself before continuing, “I know what he did and didn’t do but he loves her and my anger isn’t going to change or fix anything. What happened has happened.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be angry. He hurt you and it is not out of character for you to allow yourself to be angry or upset.” A tear fell from my eyes and before I could even move, he wiped it away, “Have you allowed yourself to cry about it?”
“Why would I cry over a man?”
“You were going to spend your life with him that is more than enough reason to cry.” A small laugh escaped me before I could stop it and I saw him smile softly illuminating that dimple I had forgotten existed, “It’s okay to cry, everyone does it.”
“Do you do it?”
“No,” he said quickly and I raised a brow.
“I thought you said everyone.”
“I meant everyone but me.”
In spite of everything that happened earlier I found myself smiling. It wasn’t a fake smile I reserved for the media and fans and it wasn’t the business smile that I reserved for clients and workers, it was a genuine smile and I didn’t feel worn down by it at all.
Nathan stepped back and I found myself missing the heat of his body against me. I cleared my throat awkwardly and turned my back on him so he wouldn’t somehow read it in my expression.
