As Archibald wrapped up the lesson, I hardly listened as he talked, lost in thought. I’d already made my choice; the prophecy had spoken to confirm it. Galen and I werefated. That should’ve been enough to settle my pounding heart. And yet… as Raf let go of my hand and said goodbye, I held back tears.
Galen and I had finally gotten to a good place and I seemed hell bent on screwing it up. In the time it took to me to hike upstairs, I’d convinced myself that my feelings were a simple side effect of being forced into close proximity with Raf. Galen had told me that faeries were promiscuous beings… This was just part of who I was.Lust was natural.It wasn’tlove—I could easily choose to ignore it.
I asked Lusha to run me a bath when I made it back to my room. She made quick work of it, adding bubbles and oils, before leaving me alone with my treacherous thoughts.
Due to the council meeting, I’d be eating dinner in my room tonight, which suited me just fine. I enjoyed Galen’s company, but sometimes I just wanted time to myself. He was insatiable when it came to his carnal desires, and between blood loss and lack of sleep, I was chronically exhausted.
I laid back, submerging my body, while I reflected on my time in Nymera. I’d gone from prisoner to savior, human to hybrid, and now it was apparently mydestinyto unite the realms,the worlds.I wanted none of it. I wanted Galen, but I didn’t want the royal titles, the advisors, the backwards rules.
I was bound to my duty; and yet, I grew ill thinking of sitting on either throne. Both Kingdoms were built from bloodshed and exploitation. If my fate was to be Queen, then I’d have to find a way to break the societalchains that had been placed on so many. Wealthy men in Erador and purist faeries in Nymera had both decided that amassing power required stripping it from someone else. Their supremacy was gods’ will—passed downthrough blood, they told themselves, as they let greed consume their souls.
If I rose to power, I’d take care ofeveryone, not just the ones born into fortunate circumstances. I’d demand equality, even if it meant going to war against those who threatened it. This responsibility had landed on my shoulders, and I was finally beginning to accept that no one could bear it for me. I had to let go of the notion that I could escape the life I’d been given.
My mother and Ophelia had raised me to fight for what was right. It rested on me, and it was heavy, but I wouldn’t let it break me. I’d claim my gods-given gift, and then the Princes and I would break the curse. Failure was not an option. I didn’tfeellike a heroine, but regardless, I’d been given power and position and I planned to use them for good. I’d find a way to overcome my fears that held me back. I wouldn’t be alone; I’d built friendships… I’d found love.Together, we’d pave a path that was wide enough to accommodate everyone.
I groaned and dunked my head under the soapy suds that smelled of lavender and chamomile. Perhaps my attraction to Raf represented my desire for escape. He certainly fit the mold with his rebellious nature and bedroom eyes. I’d rise above those feelings too. I took another deep sigh before hearing a bedroom door click. Galen was back.
thirty-seven
“Hello?” I called. Galen showed up in the bathroom looking haunted… vacant eyes met my gaze and my heart sank. “What’s wrong?” I stood up in the tub and grabbed a towel to wrap around my body. He seemed far away, living out some unknown horror.
“The Elders—they made me execute a couple today. The woman was pregnant with a hybrid.” His eyes were glassy, like he’d been drinking or crying. Or both.
I stifled my gasp and asked, “Did you know them?” I stopped breathing…Melisandre.
“No,” he said sharply. “They were from another village and hiding out in Monrovia. Someone reported them when they noticed she was pregnant.”
I was flooded with simultaneous relief and horror. Meli had said that humans and human sympathizers were gathering in Monrovia, awaiting refuge—waiting formeto rescue them. I clutched my stomach like I’d been punched in the gut.
“Who would do such a thing? What’s in it for them?” I asked, hovering just out of his reach. I didn’t want to touch him. It wasn’t his fault, but he’d killed those people. I could see the blood on his hands… hear the screams.
Whose fault was it? My heart began to race. What would I have done in that situation? I would’vediedbefore hurting them.
“The Elders have a new policy… if you report a human-faerie couple, you get to feed from the human before they’re executed. Plenty of incentive for someone desperate enough. It’s emboldened the whole village to start seeking out improper pairings.”
Improper pairings?He and Iwere animproper pairing,according to their archaic laws.
Galen’s breath smelled of alcohol. He was slurring. I hated when he got this drunk.
“There was nothing you could do?” I asked with a lump in my throat. I didn’t want to make him feel worse, but I needed to know that he’d at leasttriedto fight back.
“I didn’t know anyone was standing trial until I showed up at the meeting. My mother has been telling me less. And the Elders haven’t forgiven me for the death of their last prisoner. I was too outnumbered, I had to comply.” His gaze bore into me. “And… they know I care about you.They know I’ll doanythingin exchange for your safety. We’re in this together now. Every choice I make is forus.”
His words struck like a slap across the face, knocking me to my senses. He’d usedmymagic to kill them. I covered my mouth in horror. He’d murdered innocents. And I… I was tied to it. Their blood was on my hands as well. I braced myself as the truth of it pummeled me over and over.
“I need you,” was all he said as he pressed me against the wall of the bathroom and started kissing me with bruising force. His stubble scratched at me like sandpaper. My mind was still reeling. I was in no mood after what he’d just told me. I put my hands on his chest and shoved him back.
“Galen, why don’t you lie down… I’ll rub your back. You’ve had a terrible day. Let me take care of you.” I wanted to be there for him, even if I was internally imploding.
“That’snothow I need you right now.” His demeanor was demanding as he ripped my towel away and began fumbling between my legs.
I resisted, pushing him away more firmly this time. “Galen—you’re drunk. Don’t manhandle me.” I walked towards the bed to put space between us and he followed.
“I don’t mean to take out my foul mood on you. I’m just… struggling. I need you to take away my pain.” His expression was pitiful. I hung back before nodding my head. I could do this for him. I’d just compartmentalize… numb myself temporarily.
He didn’t hesitate as he arranged me against the bed, facing me away from him as he pressed the top half of my body into the mattress. His usualtenderness was gone as he took me from behind, forcing my head back by gripping my damp curls at the base of my skull. I’d been grabbed by my hair too many times and reacted instinctively, throwing a wave of air at him that knocked him backwards.
“Don’t pull my hair,” I yelled. “That’s what those blood-robbers did. They held me down and tried to—” I was shaking.
