“Your mother wore this necklace every day until she left us. I know she’d want you to do the same. A symbol, to keep her close to you.” Ophelia gave me a sad smile. She took my hand in hers, passing it to me. It was warm to the touch, as if she’d just taken it off.
I held back tears as I squeezed her tight. “Thank you for keeping it safe all these years. I remember seeing it on her. I’d assumed it had been buried with her.” I turned away, not wanting to remember the details of Mama’s funeral. My father hadn’t attended.
She helped me clasp the necklace and centered the pendant on my chest. Her voice dropped low as she whispered, “Marigold, there are things I need to tell you… now that you’ve come of age—secrets I’ve kept to protect you and the realm. It’s time you learned the truth. After the Debut, come find me and we’ll go on a walk.” Her brows were set in a deep furrow. “There are some secrets that not even our guards or servants can be trusted with.”
I nodded in understanding and chewed on the side of my cheek, wondering what it could be. She turned back towards the throne, dismissing me in a way only a Queen could. The guards ushered me out and I released a heavy sigh before muttering to the gods, “If youdoexist, now would be a good time to prove it.Find me a way out of this evening.”
I walked the perimeter of the ballroom, keeping an eye out for Cara and handing out polite smiles to familiar faces. As I glanced towards the dance floor, I tried to take steady, deep breaths. My forehead prickled with cold sweat, my hands clenched into tight fists, while I fought the instinct to lock my spine and freeze in place.I was not a deer being hunted, for gods sakes, this was just a party. I was safe.But my body refused to listen to my mind. The ballroom started to darken and blur and I backed against the wall to get my bearings.
Don’t faint. Don’t you dare faint.
The chatter would never end if I had a panic attack in the middle of the party. My mind flashed to Mama’s lifeless body—her lips tinged purple as she gasped for air. I inhaled and exhaled rapidly, trying to catch my breath. And then I saw Cara.
My body relaxed when I recognized her black hair and cocoa complexion in the sea of nobles. I used her as my anchoring point to bring me back to the present. She was wearing a jade green dress that accentuated her lean figure. It shimmered as she swayed back and forth, trotting along the dance floor with a partner. She always looked in her element when she danced, like a gazelle leaping through tall grass. I followed their feet along the dance floor and fell into a trance. Breathing in, out, in, out…
A white-haired doctor yelled,“She’s not breathing,” as he checked my mother’s pulse. I sat next to her, tears streaming down my cheeks as feet shuffled by. So many eyes watching—staring—doing nothing to help.
My father was on her other side, holding her hand. “Eliana…” His broken voice chanted her name over and over. We stared at each other, knowing the center of our world was gone.
I snapped out of the trance as the song ended, noting that Cara had spotted me and was making her way over. “Are you okay?” She placed herpalm against my forehead. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. You’re ice cold.”
My hands shook as I became aware of my surroundings. I clung onto the sides of my dress in an attempt to stop the trembling.
“Let’s go sit down. I’ll get you a drink.”
We settled ourselves in the designated wallflower section and I slowly sipped on water. We sat in silence for a few minutes before my head cleared enough to ask about the latest gossip. I needed something to distract me from the pungent smell of sweaty, overly-perfumed bodies. Not missing a beat, she told me what notable people were attending tonight and who’d been dancing together so far.
It was her second year in society. “This will be the season I find my husband,” Cara insisted. I hated the idea of her marrying and moving away. She was my closest friend—myonlyfriend.
If Cara was a blade of grass, deeply rooted and bending with the wind, then I was a dandelion, easily swept into infinite directions at the slightest breeze. We balanced each other well. When we were children, I perpetually had skinned knees, tangled hair, and a propensity for pushing the limits. She was often along for the ride, but only as an accomplice, never the instigator.
She was sensible until it came to love. Cara was a romantic—not an easy thing to be in high society, where people married for money and power. “Only peasants marry for love,” her father frequently reminded her. It hadn’t deterred her. She wanted someone who saw her as more than a commodity.
She turned down two perfectly mediocre gentlemen last season. It had created tension between her and her parents. Being the oldest, in a family of daughters, Cara was under pressure to marry well. Her father was giving her one more season before he chose her husband for her. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being forced into a loveless marriage. She was a rare jewel amongst flat, smooth-brained river rocks.
She’d find love; I was sure of it. Men adored her. They were drawn to her like a quill to parchment, especially once they saw her gliding across the dance floor. She was a skilled player in the game of courtship, flattering them and flirting back effortlessly, yet still able to maintain an edge of mystery.
I, on the other hand, had no natural ability at attracting the opposite sex. It didn't matter because I planned on avoiding marriage as long as possible—council bedamned. I’d accepted the fact that an arranged marriage was unavoidable, but I refused to let them rush me into it.
“Any suitors? Proposals? Do you have your eye on anyone yet?” I flashed her a mischievous grin.
“The season started two hours ago. No one worthy of my notice… yet.”
We giggled as we surveyed the room and saw several sets of eyes staring at us. We watched the crowd of dancers for several songs before I decided I couldn’t keep her to myself any longer. She needed to find a husband and had no time to waste.
“What about you and thestable boy?” Cara nudged me playfully. My stomach sank as she unknowingly rubbed salt in the fresh wound.
“I ended it earlier today, actually. It was time.” Before she could pry any deeper, I stood and said, “I hate to make you sit with your socially inept friend, when you’re clearly meant to be on the dance floor. I’m going to take a walk through the gardens and get some fresh air before the Debut.”
She understood everything I said, and everything I didn’t say, as she squeezed my gloved hand. “I’m always here to talk. You don’t have to face your hardships alone. And… I’m sorry your mother isn’t here to see how gorgeous you look today.” Her sincerity blurred my vision with tears that had been threatening to fall all day.
“It would be nice to have her here tonight, but I’m grateful to have you. I’ll be back soon. Please cover for me if anybody asks where I am.”
“I’ll tell them you’re powdering your nose.”
“Thank you, friend.” I grinned before making a beeline for the courtyard.
three
