I have no fucking clue, because as much as I understand what happened between them, I also know it’s an impossible situation, trying to take sides.I don’t want to be forced to choose, because deep down, I know exactly whose side I’ll be on.
And I hate what that says about me.
That I’ll choose my girlfriend over my father, because she is everything to me.
And because I can totally understand why she did what she did when she quit working for him.
My dad does have a reputation for being an asshole.And yeah, while I can try to pretend that the only reason I changed my name was because I wanted to make a name for myself without riding on his coattails, I’d be lying if I didn’t also admit that the way he runs his kitchen was a part of it.
It’s why I’ve never been able to work for him.
God knows how my mom ever did and fuck, they ended up married with three kids.But I could never do it and as much as it probably makes me an asshole too, I fully understand why Hannah told him to get fucked and walked out.
It’s probably what I would have done if I was in her situation.
“Shit,” I exhale, as I head into the bedroom to take a shower, knowing that as much as I wish I could blow today off and go and see Hannah, I can’t.We have a function booked for lunch and with Hannah now out, there’s no way I can bail too.
I strip off my clothes, leaving them on the bedroom floor as I walk into the bathroom, my phone still in my hand, just in case.When I step into the bathroom though, I’m hit with a million reminders of the woman who, for all intents and purposes, practically lives here.But whose absence I am feeling everywhere.
Her toothbrush, that sits in the cup with mine.Her hairbrush on the counter and the second towel that now permanently hangs beside mine.
Fucking hell, I miss her.I miss her so bad and it’s only been a day.
Reaching in to turn on the water, I stare at my phone as I wait for the shower to heat up.Just before I step into the stall, I type out one last text to her.
One last text that I hope tells her I understand.That I get it and that I’m not going anywhere.No matter what.
Me: Hannah, I need you to know something and I need you to believe me when I say this.I get it.I get why you quit and I get why you did it the way you did.He IS an asshole in the kitchen.It’s why I can’t work for him either.It’s partly why I don’t use his name too.I wish I’d told you who he was earlier so we could have avoided all this.I can’t change that he’s my dad, but I can promise you that I will do everything I can to make this right.I love you, Hannah.You are everything to me and I’m not giving up on us.I love you.
I hit send, waiting till the message goes through, before I leave my phone on the counter and step into the shower, hoping to fuck that when I step back out, I’ve figured out how the hell I can fix this.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Hannah
Leo’s text message has me in tears again.I just can’t see a way to get past this even if Leo says he understands what happened and why.How am I supposed to face his father on a semi-regular basis and not have him hold what happened against me?How am I supposed to look at him as anything but the man who basically killed my self-esteem?He could one day end up being my father-in-law, and I’m not sure I could live with that.Based on the way he behaves at work, I can’t see him apologizing to me.Fuck knows I owe him an apology for the way I quit, but I refuse to cave to him if he can’t see his place in all of this.
“I gotta go home,” I tell Dylan after I’ve finally pulled myself out of bed.
“You gonna talk to Leo?”he asks, opening the fridge and pulling out a few things.“I’m going to cook dinner for Tess and me.You want to stay and then go face the music?”
I sit down at the island and let out a hard sigh.Dylan’s offer is really appealing right now.As soon as I get home, Leo will be all over me.There will be no avoiding him once he sees my car.I used to think it was awesome how close we lived to each other and how we are so secluded.Now it feels like a total fucking nightmare.
“What are you making?”I ask, stalling for time, trying to figure out if avoiding having this conversation with Leo can wait another couple of hours.More than likely, Leo is at work, busting his ass since I called in sick.Going home now feels like I’m setting myself up to find Leo exhausted by work, angry that I left him high and dry, and still stressing about me running off.
“I’m not sure.Everything gives Tess heartburn now.Got any ideas?”He smiles at me, using this as an opportunity to distract me from my own thoughts.He knows I can’t turn down planning and cooking a meal.
“Cheesy mushroom and parsley risotto,” I reply off the top of my head, but thinking there’s no way he has the ingredients lying around.
He holds up one finger smiling at me as he stuffs the random things he pulled out back into the fridge.“Fresh parsley?”he questions, and I can’t even believe he has to ask.There is no way I’m using dried parsley, especially since fresh parsley helps digestion.
“Dylan?”I shame, rolling my eyes, and he laughs.
“Got it.I’m going to run down to the store and be back in a few minutes.”
“You want a list?”I ask, knowing he’s going to show back up here with a bag of shredded cheese and some white mushrooms.The only thing he’ll get right is the parsley unless he happens upon flat leaf and curly leaf.“Yes, you want a list,” I add, not bothering to wait for him to reply.“Ricotta cheese, cremini mushrooms, peas, flat leaf parsley…”
“And risotto,” Dylan says cutting in and I can’t help but laugh at him.He isn’t a slouch in the kitchen and generally he can follow a recipe pretty well, but when your sister is a chef, it’s kind of hard to show her up.
