“God, I seriously cannot believe how clueless my brother is at times,” Hannah says.“I mean he’s only twenty-four, but still.”
It’s really late, after midnight.We’re lying in her bed, me leaning against the headboard, my lower body half covered by the sheet.Hannah is lying sideways on the bed, the rest of the sheet covering her as her head rests in my lap.
Laughing, I glance down, brushing the hair back from her face.“Yeah, I mean he kinda seemed a bit surprised about the amount of shit he’s going to have to do when this baby of theirs comes along.”
Hannah rolls her eyes in acan you believe itkind of way.“Poor Tessa,” she adds, chuckling.“She’s gonna end up with a baby and a toddler out of all this.”
“Maybe he’ll surprise us all,” I say with a grin.
“Hmmm or maybe, he’ll cruise through it all like he usually does,” she says with a smirk.“He’s always been like that.He’s like Teflon, nothing sticks, and he just slides through life without a care in the world.”
“Oh man, please don’t tell me you’re jealous, babe?”I tease, pushing the sheet a little lower as I slide my hand over her boob and pinch her nipple.
She lets out a squeal, slapping at my chest.“No, of course not.I’m actually really happy he’s found Tessa and they’re doing this.He might be an idiot at times, but he’s a fun idiot and he will make a great dad…eventually.”
She’s smiling as she talks, and I know she genuinely means what she’s saying.It’s obvious she and Dylan share a close relationship and that was even more evident with all the work she put into organizing his and Tessa’s baby shower tonight.It was a huge success and it had taken everything I had in me not to fucking burst with pride and tell everyone she was mine at the way they all loved her food, or how Jack and Lauren had fought over getting her dishes on their menus.
I’d thought we might have been finally able to come clean about the two of us tonight, but then Lauren had suddenly gone into labor and everyone else had disappeared, leaving Hannah and me with leftovers to pack away and a table to clear.We still haven’t heard any news, but I knew from my brother and sister’s kids that these things can take hours.So, with the cleaning done and nothing else to do, we’d come back to her place and gotten naked.
“Yeah, I agree,” I admit, knowing he’ll definitely be a fun dad, if nothing else.“He’s got that whole let’s go out and do fun shit vibe going for him.”
“You mean dumb shit,” Hannah deadpans.
I laugh, giving her boob a squeeze.“Do you want kids?”
Hannah’s gaze snaps to mine the second the question leaves my lips.“What?I mean, shit.Do you?”
Chuckling, I reply, “Pretty sure I asked you first, babe.”
“Yeah, but…I mean…do you though, ’cause…”
“There is no wrong answer here, Han,” I say softly, moving my hand between her breasts.“I’m just asking if it’s something you want.”
She lets out a long exhale, her eyes moving back to the ceiling.My hand still rests on her chest, and I feel her heart pounding behind her ribs at my question.She says nothing at first, as she lies here, the wheels clearly turning inside her head.I don’t push it, knowing I’ve kind of just dropped a huge fucking question here.One that I guess could have a pretty big impact on our relationship.
“I know people expect me to want to have kids,” she eventually says, her words coming out carefully as her gaze moves back to mine.
“Yeah, but fuck other people’s expectations,” I say, giving her a small smile.“Tell me whatyouwant.”
She licks her lips, pulling her bottom one between her teeth in a way that tells me she’s nervous to answer me.“What if what I want is not what you want?”she asks, her voice quiet.
I trace the line of her eyebrow with my fingertip, my eyes never leaving hers as I study her gorgeous face.“Well, first of all,” I start, a grin tugging at my mouth, “I really like that in trying to answer this question about wanting kids, that it’s me you’re thinking about the whole kid thing with.”
She blushes now and it’s so fucking adorable I can’t help but laugh a little.“Well, I mean…” she starts, clearly embarrassed as she covers her face with both hands.
“Han, babe,” I say, gently pulling her hands away so she can see me.“Of course kids and you and me is who I meant when I asked the question.”
“Okay,” she breathes out, her body relaxing as she lets out a long exhale and she gives me a half-smile, half-smirk.
“So…” I prompt, twisting a lock of her hair around my fingers.
She chews on her lip again.“I mean it’s not like our jobs are exactly conducive to family life, are they?”
“Babe,” I say, chuckling again, wondering why this is so hard for her to give me an answer.“Fuck our jobs, we can make it work if this is what you want.”
Hannah takes another deep breath, letting it out slowly as she finally says, “Honestly, Leo, I don’t reallyknowwhat I want.”
“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere,” I tease.“So, you don’t know if you want kids?”
