Where had he been? And what had he been doing? I had a pretty good idea that I didn’t want the answers to those questions.
Instead, I asked, “Where’s Lucas?”
His awareness of my awake state was revealed when he didn’t even turn his head. “He’s been gone all afternoon. Should be back soon.” Finally, he glanced at me. “How do you feel?”
“Ready for the spacewalk, Captain.” I even managed a shaky salute.
His frown deepened. “What is a spacewalk?”
I had no idea why I had said that. My thoughts careened and crashed into each other so much it was a miracle I could string together a coherent sentence at all. “A walk in outer space,” I answered.
He didn’t move from the window, but his expression said it all. As did his next comment. “If Lucas can find us some charged crystals, they might help me heal you.”
The word “might” wasn’t encouraging. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and moved on to other concerns. “You guys don’t have to stand guard over me. The room is locked.”
His brows rose. “You think that door would stop anyone? Havoc’s Webspinner could kick it in.”
“Yeah, but why? I’m not really a desirable commodity at the moment.”
His mouth straightened. “You underestimate the street value of a female slave in Sarti. The only ones who walk free have earned that right.
I momentarily lacked any ability or sharp, pointy things with which to prove my point. I returned to my original line of thought. “You need to sleep.”
“I don’t need sleep to recharge,” he said, looking away. “I’m fine.”
And just like that, it confirmed my suspicions. Through my association with a certain BFF, I knew that Satyrs needed sex like I needed food. My heart hurt, as though something had pierced it clear through. He’d gone out to the streets and fucked some female he didn’t even know. Rather than recharge with me.
There might be reasons he’d done so. But did I really believe Rafael could kill me with his power?
I didn’t have an answer, so instead I pushed myself to my feet, and swayed. He took one long stride toward me, but I held up my hand.
“Did you kill her?”
His brows dropped. “None of them were female.”
Them? Not female?I had no idea how to respond to that. So, I turned and staggered to the bathroom, with him following a couple of paces behind.
I closed the door in his face, used the toilet, and then leaned on the sink, staring at my reflection in the cracked mirror.
Fate had given me three gorgeous men.
And none of them would even touch me.
My life since finding Marcus in that cornfield had been nothing but one big chaotic mess. Now I was an addict and changing to a Dragon. Maybe.
Frankly, I could use a bit of boredom. But my heart had had enough. My yearning for these guys was a thing of the soul—not something I could easily turn my back on. Yet all I saw ahead for me was more of the same pain.
If this was all they offered, I was better off without them. Despite what Vali had said. Her fated mate had been killed. Mine were alive, and surely that made a difference?
I had to make sure Rafael was safe. Once I’d done that—I was going to stomp off and become a motherfucking Dragon all on my own. If I turned into one, that is. But as a Jumper, surely I could hire myself out as needed. What underlord wouldn’t want to be able to pop in and out at will?
The eyes staring back at me had pupils so dilated all I could see of my irises was a thin ring of green. They stared out of darkened circles. Even my cheeks were gaunt. I shook like a leaf, and the edges of my vision danced with things I was certain were not there.
Stomping off anywhere on my own seemed an impossibility at the moment. Dragon or no Dragon.
A soft knock on the door. “Riley, are you okay?”
No.No, I was not. And how could his voice reflect such concern, when he was so obviously reluctant to even touch me? Did he feel the pull of Fate—that we were meant to be together—but not wish to indulge it?
