I set her down amid them, and as she stuffed herself, I leaned against a trunk. My heart felt as though it were torn and bleeding. How had I ever let these guys close enough to do that kind of damage?
I really needed to rip Fate a new orifice.
As if to prove thatlifewent on despite mine being in a shambles, it flew, hooted, hummed, and crawled all around me. But life’s intricacies and beauty were lost on me.
I knew how to Jump now. I didn’t need Cara or the academy. And soon, it seemed likely, I’d be a Dragon. I knew how to live on the streets—at least, I had in the human realm. I was smart and tough. I could find my own way.
But something deep within me wailed, wanting culmination, not retreat. Like walking away would shred me, instead of pulling me together.
I respected Havoc’s urge to be free. Understood it on a fundamental level. He’d screwed up big time by biting me. But should he be held to what Fate had decreed for him? And Rafael. Destroyed by Isobel, developed into an evil he might never be able to leave behind. I’d touched his power, stared into an abyss that shook me to the core. And then—he’d commanded me. Used his power on me, to make meobey. It was a betrayal on a level that I struggled to understand.
My mind sheered away from it. Because there was another that tortured me. Marcus was the toughest to deal with—it seemed he wouldn’t even try. Why wouldn’t he even look at me?
“I think she came this way. We shouldn’t have let her go off alone.”
Kiko, no doubt with Vali, had come looking for me, but they couldn’t ease the pain in my heart. And they would try to stop me from what I had to do.
Amid the creepy-crawlies, Fang froze, and then she scampered across the ground and up my body to her usual perch. The move galvanized something within me, and I didn’t even consciously make the decision.
My mind filled with white noise.
Snap.
39
Rafael
I basked in an energy that permeated every pore and filled a void in my aching heart.
Anna stood beside me, one hand on my arm, as though she were afraid to let me go. My sister. Mytwin. Looking into her bicolored eyes was like coming home.
She felt it, too, I could see it in her expression. Raised apart, we didn’t know each other at all. But on a fundamental level, we knew everything we needed to.
She'd no doubt heard at least part of what I’d done. Not all of it, but some. Would she condemn me once she knew the full scope of it?
I couldn’t expect forgiveness, not even from her.
But she wasn’t the source of the energy. That was Nikolai.
I’d hoped for a sense of connection if I ever met my twin. That Nikolai—the Perditor—was also family was something I deliberately hadn’t considered.
From the first moment my eyes met his, something formed between us. He had the life essence of a Liberi, but I sensed the link he had to the tremendous power of the core. Just a thread, really, that touched the maelstrom, but it trickled through him even when he wasn’t consciously accessing it.
Through him. And through me. Every hair I possessed stood erect, even the long strands around my head.
He was mybrother.
Half, really, but the connection was almost as solid as the one I sensed from Anna. Perhaps it was due to his tremendous power—everything about Nikolai was larger than life.
I bent to pet the canine, who wiggled enthusiastically at my feet, and we watched Cara work on the red Dragon. But after the first few minutes, I knew the truth of it.
Havoc was dying. My heart hurt as though the parasites were feeding on it, too.
The Watcher had her hands on him. Unlike Isobel, her healing power was at full strength, but judging by the blood pouring from the Dragon’s ears and nose, she wasn’t gaining ground.
“There are too many,” she said through gritted teeth. “Nikolai, I need you.”
The big Bellati moved to stand behind her, and he placed his hands on her small shoulders. Immediately, the glow of power around them increased.
