I wish I could be as sure. Talakai’s energy spiked with things I couldn’t even begin to decipher, and none were good.
As we’d left the suite, Cara had patted my arm and reminded me that Tyrez was alert and aloft. It seemed everyone sensed Talakai was holding on to his sanity with teeth and toenails.
Matt’s arm tightened around me when the two Dragons dropped from the clouds.
“See? He’s okay.”
I didn’t point out that he sounded as relieved as I felt. I glanced at him. “How bad was it at Xumi’s?” I breathed.
He grew very still. “About as bad as it gets,” he finally admitted.
The two Dragons landed together, a study in controlled grace. Tyrez shifted to human first, and nodded to Matt and me.
“I will meet you at the meadow gate in an hour,” he told Talakai, before heading for the stairs.
The meadow gate? Where were they going? My ribcage spasmed, and I started to shake. I almost couldn’t breathe.
Talakai’s deep-blue scales chased over his skin. Although his wings reduced in size, he didn’t retract them fully. He’d lost weight while at Xumi’s, each muscle more rigidly defined and hugging closer to his bones.
Matt’s arm slid away as I went to the Dragon. But something in Talakai’s face had me halting a few feet from him. Trix stopped too, her tail waving gently.
I ached to touch him—to reassure him that no matter what, I was here for him.
“We will get you through this, Talakai,” I said. “You are not alone. You belong with us.”
Something flared in his indigo eyes, but his mouth straightened, and his gaze skittered away from mine. “At the moment, I don’t even belong to myself.” His deep voice was rough, as though speaking was difficult. “Until I do, there can be no us.”
My heart froze. “Tell me you’ll stay, Talakai. If you have to sort this, do it here.” I met his gaze. “Please.”
I could force him. Both he and I knew that. The power within me could make him do anything.
But if I did that, he would never trust me. And he’d been forced enough.
“Like this”—his head tilted ever so slightly—“I cannot even be part of a team. Tyrez has offered that I work as a Shade operative to find Sebastian and Galeran.”
No.He couldn’t leave.
Matt pushed gently into my mind.Remember that old saying, Angel? If you love something—
No.I refused to finish it with “set it free,”but my heart knew the truth. Everything inside me screamed to hold on to the Dragon, that I could heal him if given enough time. But he needed to come to me, freely and without restraint. Or it would never work.
It might not be safe for him here, right now, anyway. The council would love to get its hands on a Guild operative.
What? They’d put him in jail?
They might do more than that, now that they know he’s Guild. Cara and Tyrez and the others would fight it. But before he stays here, we have to know he’s safe.
Safe. That must seem a foreign concept to Talakai at the moment. I took a deep breath. “Is this what you really want?” I asked him. My throat was so tight I could barely speak.
He looked right at me, finally, and the expression in his eyes pierced straight through to my soul. “I must do this, Anna.”
It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done—to nod, and say, “When you are ready, we will be here.” I didn’t let myself even consider that he might never be ready to join us. Seeing it as a temporary situation was the only way I could let him go.
I started to undo the sword harness. “We’ll have to expand this as big as it can go—”
He shook his head and his energy spiked wildly. “No. I meant what I said. I am no longer worthy of that sword.”
“Not worthy? Talakai—” How could he think that? I certainly didn’t deserve to bear such a sword.
