Page 70 of Acceptance
“Jamie—”
“I just want to be left alone.”
Sighing, he stands and turns on the overhead light. Her blotchy face cuts him deep. She’s been crying since she entered this room. If he didn’t feel bad enough already, he feels worse now.
“Jamie, I really am sorry.”
“I know.”
“I have this way of being too focused on a task. It’s why I did so well in the military. If I was given a task, nothing got in my way, and nothing distracted me. Everything else just melted away. Disappeared.”
Jamie sniffles and nods. “I’ve noticed. I was the distraction that disappeared, remember?”
“I hate how I made you feel. Tell me what I can do to make it better.”
“Go and find Nina’s killer. If you don’t, I lost you for nothing.”
He searches her face, and he knows what Colt meant now. “You haven’t lost me.”
“Yeah, I did. You lost me, too. You just haven’t accepted it yet.”
“Jamie—”
“I’m sure you’re needed down there.”
Fear creeps into his chest. He can’t leave her like this. This can’t be the way this all ends. “We’re at a standstill at the moment, but Brock and Grayson are on it.”
“You stayed so busy for weeks with less than you have now. Don’t use me as an excuse to bide your time now. Go. Help them. Aaron and Nina deserve it.”
“I’m not biding my time with you.”
She sighs, but unlike earlier, she actually looks at him. “If you say so.”
“I want to talk about this. I know I hurt you, but we can work through this together. I just need you to work with me because I can’t do it alone.”
Her lips tremble as she smiles with a chuckle. “I know how that feels. I’ve been in this relationship alone for weeks.”
“I want to work this out.”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“Damn it, Jamie! It’s not pity!”
She flinches and steps backwards to press herself against the wall. His eyes widen in horror as he watches her.She’s afraid of me?
“That’s what it feels like,” Jamie says, her voice quiet.
Again, Undertaker feels like a caged animal with a predator circling him, hunting. He desperately wants to get out, but the person holding the key to unlock the cage keeps drifting further and further away from him.
“I love you.”
“That’s not what it feels like. Or, maybe you do, but you don’t love me the way you did before Nina’s tragedy fell into your lap.”
Letting out a deep breath, he does what he can to control himself. He can’t scare her. It’s the last thing he wants, next to her leaving. “I love you just as much as I did before.”
“No, you don’t,” she whispers.
“How can you tell me how I feel?”
