Jonah spun to face her, eyes wide with disbelief. “No?”
“There’s nothing we can do for him but help him rest.” The words hollowed out her chest and carved her heart with a dull blade.
“Rest?” Jonah scoffed, “That’s really what you’re going with? Why? So you don’t have to admit you’re putting a sick, old man down like a dog?”
He tried to push past her, but she was faster, shoving him back and pinning him against the wall, her forearm pressing into his sternum. “This is for the best,” she insisted.
Jonah looked at her then, really looked at her, like he was seeing a stranger. Not even when he claimed to not know her had he looked at her this way. “I’m not going to stay to watch,” he spat, “Some of us don’t believe in this shit.”
He spun on his heel and stalked toward the exit, and she followed.
“What do you mean you don’t believe in this shit?” she demanded, her voice rising. “You’re a TCA agent, right? This is what we do.”
He whirled toward her. “This is what YOU do. I turn in actual criminals and look for Edward. That’s my job. Not this shit. Not fucking murder.” Seeing the way she recoiled, he scoffed. “You act like you don’t know that you kill them,”
She crossed her arms over her chest, squeezing, hoping maybe the action would numb the dull ache. “I don’t. But I do leave them for the people who do.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Jonah challenged.
Gerald bent over the counter and examined the contents within. He smiled to himself and hummed a song Ruby hadn’t heard in decades. The pit in her chest grew, stretching to engulf the entirety of her torso.
“No. I’m not okay with it.” She forced out. “I fully expect to pay for it someday. Either in this life or the next.”
“Then why—?”
“What’s the alternative?” she snapped. Her hands balled at her sides, nails cutting into her palm. “There’s nothing the police can do. You shoot us, we get right back up. Chop off my head,and my body will keep moving. We’re strong enough to break out of any handcuffs, fast enough to outrun any human. There’s no prison that could hold us. Death is the only option. You KNOW this. You went through the training, just like I did.”
Jonah’s expression hardened. “Hypocrite,” he hissed. “Guess that applies to every thermy except you, right? If you can live among people, especially with the number of people you’ve killed, then why can’t he? He hasn’t hurt anyone.”
“It’s different.” She didn’t believe the words, even as they tumbled from her mouth.
“How?” Jonah shouted, disbelief cutting through the air like a knife. “Did he not think? Make his own decisions? Have a heart that pumps blood?” The hole expanded, consuming her legs in deadened anger. “He has a disease. An infection. Just like you. He didn’t choose this, didn’t ask for it. He can feel, and he’s alive, even if his version of life looks different from yours.” Her arms were gone, engulfed in warming rage. “You’re making monsters out of beings who had no choice. Monsters out of people who have the same affliction as you. You’re not superior just because you can walk around without the TCA breathing down your neck.” Her head went next, rationality consumed by the heat of her fury. “You’re worse than him when you think about it. At least he’s not a murderer.”
“I NEVER KILLED ANYONE!” Ruby’s yell echoed off the walls, raw and unfiltered, her chest heaving with the effort. The weight of them hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.
Jonah blinked, the anger draining from him, replaced by shock. “But—”
“But my number?” Ruby unclenched her trembling fist and pounded her hand into the wall beside Jonah. Flecks of plaster floated to the ground. “How long have you been thinking about it? Did it keep you up at night, wondering why you had to work with a murderer? A thermophile who killed thousands. Is thatwhy you pretended to not know me? Why you ghosted me all those years ago? We spent months together and you couldn’t be bothered to even ask if the rumors were true.” She let out a bitter, humorless laugh, her eyes never leaving his, her face mere inches away. “Edward turned me. Burned my Andy. Then buried me alive under a crematorium.”
She stepped closer, dropping to a hiss. “They burned multiple bodies a day. For decades. I wasn’t even conscious. The oxygen wasn’t enough to sustain both me and the bacteria, so it shut me off. Woke up a super-powered freak thinking only minutes had passed since I lost Andy.
“You ask how I can be okay with it, how I can do this job?” Giving in to the resentment, this festering anger, was probably the most human thing she’d done in decades. “What other choice do I have? I didn’t ask to be part of the TCA. I just didn’t want to die. They told me burn or work, so I work. I’ve seen so many around me die, but I’m still alive, and that has to mean something. I have to MAKE it mean something.”
Jonah stood there, torn, his fists clenching and unclenching, but the anger still simmered beneath the surface. “I can’t watch him die,” he murmured, “Not knowing there was something I could’ve done to help.”
Ruby’s entire body shook. She couldn’t believe she had ever loved this coward. “Like what? Cure him? There’s no cure for this. His life will never get better. He will be stuck in a loop, his own brain attacking him, for all of eternity. He will live through an endless fog of suffering, always waiting for his wife to come home from getting the eggs. He will sit in the dark shop, waiting for something that will never happen. Alone. Forever. And in his moments of clarity, he’ll grieve. Then forget and wait. Then grieve again. Then forget and wait. Over and over and over again.” The words spilled out in a frantic rush, each one cutting deeper than the last. “This is what’s best for him. This is the onlymercy we can give him. So if you can’t watch, then leave. And if you can’t do your fucking job, then do us both a favor and QUIT.”
Jonah shook his head, then turned and left the shop, the brass bell above the door jingling cheerfully. The door slammed.
Gerald whimpered from behind the counter, and Ruby faced him. The old man stared at her, his eyes startlingly clear. Tears streamed down his face, leaving wet trails along the deep wrinkles.
“I remember,” he sobbed. He slumped onto a stool, shoulders shaking with each breath. “I remember the man who came into the shop. He killed my Esther. He made me watch. He wasn’t human. And I’m not anymore, am I?”
“It’s not your fault.” The gentle words were tender but foreign in her throat, like a language she had long forgotten. “There are people coming,” she added, struggling to find the right words. “They’ll help.” The lie tasted bitter, and it lingered on her tongue.
Gerald looked down at his lap, his tears darkening the fabric of his slacks. “They’re going to kill me, aren’t they?” His voice was small, resigned.
Ruby hesitated but nodded. There was no point in lying now.
