Page 83 of Duty Devoted
“Logan.” Ethan’s voice stopped me with my hand on the handle. “Two weeks mandatory stand-down. That’s an order. You deploy again before medical clearance, you’re done at Citadel.”
Fine. “I’ll take the downtime starting today.” I grabbed my go-bag and headed out the door.
The hallway stretched empty and too bright. Fluorescent lights hummed overhead, making my exhaustion feel heavier. I made it halfway to the elevator before my legs decided they’d had enough. The wall was right there, solid and cool, so I leaned against it.
Eight weeks. Eight weeks of keeping her out of my head during daylight. Eight weeks of her finding me anyway when exhaustion finally won and I had to sleep. Green eyes and steady hands and the way she’d trusted me even when I held death to her temple.
My knuckles ached. When I looked down, fresh splits had opened across old scars. Apparently I’d been punching walls in my sleep again. The medic in Somalia had asked about it. I’d told him to mind his own business.
Christ, they were right. All of them. I was trying to outrun something that lived in my own head.
I made it all the way out to the parking lot before I realized I was being a fucking dumbass. Actually, I’d known from the beginning about the dumbass-ness, but I was only now willing to begin addressing it.
I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing. I wasn’t actively trying to kill myself like my friends had accused me of, but I sure wasn’t doing my best to stay alive either.
I’d fucked up with Lauren so bad and had no idea what to do about it. Calling her wasn’t an option… What would I say?
You might have noticed that when you woke up in San Juan, I was gone. Funny story…my neuroses convinced me the best thing I could do was leave you alone. So, I did. How’s it been going the past two months while I’ve been on complete radio silence?
That would go over about as well as I would imagine—her hanging up before I got to the fourth word.
I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do about Lauren, but I had to do something. Eventually. Formulate some sort of plan to…do something. I didn’t know what.
But first, I needed to repair my career. Go back into our briefing, act like a fucking adult, and admit I needed downtime, or at least not spearheading the worst of the worst missions. I turned and headed back inside.
“I didn’t realize things were so…complicated when I talked to them,” Ethan was saying. “We’re overkill for a mugging follow-up.”
“Chicago’s got plenty of good firms for that kind of protection,” Ty said. “I know a couple right off the top of my head.”
I froze.Chicago?
“I wouldn’t mind taking the case.” Jace’s voice was thoughtful. “Just for a couple weeks, help her get settled with someone permanent. I was impressed with what she accomplished in Corazón. Seems wrong to just pass her off to strangers after what she went through.”
I dropped my bag in the hall and walked back through the conference room door. All eyes flew to me.
“Lauren?” I asked. “What happened?”
“She was mugged yesterday. Parking garage at the hospital where she works.” Ethan spoke slowly, like I was some sortof cornered animal. Probably apt. “Two men, grabbed her bag, knocked her down when she fought back.”
My vision tunneled. Blood roared in my ears, drowning out everything. Lauren. Hurt. Two men attacking her in a parking garage while I’d been playing soldier on the other side of the world.
“—not injured,” Jace was saying when my hearing cleared. “But her parents are worried. They want to hire security.”
“I’ll do it.” The words erupted before I could stop them. Moreover, I didn’t want to stop them. “I’ll take the job.”
Dead quiet.
Fuck. Ethan had told me I was grounded for two weeks. That was unacceptable. If Lauren needed protection, I was fucking going. I just hoped it wasn’t about to cost me my career and all my friends.
But if it did, so be it. I was not leaving Lauren if she needed me. Not fucking again.
I met Ethan’s gaze straight on. “I need to do this. You want me to take a break from international ops? Fine. But I need to do this.”
More quiet. Ben shifted, murmuring something to Jolly that made the dog’s tail twitch once.
“Well.” Ty grinned. “This should be interesting.”
“The Valentinos expect someone tomorrow,” Ethan said, watching me carefully. “You prepared for that?”
