“I did. It doesn’t mean I came away unscathed. It was my only play at the time.”
“You let them burn you as a strategy?”
“I’d rather it be on my terms than theirs.”
My blood runs cold. “And with Clausen?”
His casual shrug makes my blood boil.
“No! You don’t get to hide behind the tough guy act with me! Not after all we’ve been through. Answer me. Do you let Clausen hurt you on purpose?”
He leans forward, rubbing his forehead. “What do you want me to say? Does that make me less of a victim in your fairytale?” His gaze hardens, and I hate the way he studies me. “Deal with it. I’m not afraid to take a hit to gain the edge. I know that ruins your narrative.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what I’m saying.”
“Why are you acting like this?”
He squints a slow scan over me again. Suddenly, he lets out a breath. “I don’t believe it,” he mumbles, pushing himself to his feet. “It’s true.”
“What’s true? Where are you going?”
“You don’t have to worry about me, sweetheart. I can take care of myself.”
“Stop it. You can’t leave like this.”
His glare turns hostile, and I step back.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do. Especially now.”
“What are you talking about?” I say, terrified at his sudden transformation.
“Stop the games. I know!”
“You know what?”
“You’ve been using me this whole time, and I bought the entire thing. You don’t love me. You love the idea of me. You love your dark, tortured soul, victimized by his terrifying nightmare.”
Shocked, tears fill my eyes at the stranger before me. “That’s not fair.”
“Am I wrong? And here come the tears. Go ahead and cry, but later tonight you’ll realize I’m right. You can’t stand the fact that I don’t need you to rescue me. That maybe some of this twistedsituation is really my doing after all. You can’t stand the fact that my reality is not your fantasy.”
“Where’s this coming from?” I stammer. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m not a saint, Rebecca. I’m damaged beyond repair. You’re not going to be able to fix me,” he spits. “Dream up whatever future you want, but leave me out of it.”
I stare at him, speechless. The air is thick, my stomach twisted in knots.
“You want to know where I was earlier?” he continues. “I was introduced to someone you know very well. Her name was Arlene Carson.”
I gasp. “My mom? Why?”
“Right. Like you don’t know?”
“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”
He reaches for the door. “I’m not sure how you managed to hide it from me, but you’re good. I’ll give you that.”
