Page 106 of Mask and the Magnolia
My fingers itched to rapid fire text messages, to hit redial on her number until my omega finally picked up. By dinner, I was half tempted to find a way to contact Eve to see if she knew what was going on and by Saturday morning, it took every ounce ofwillpower I possessednotto go to her apartment and demand answers.
But goddamnit, I wanted to.
Unfortunately, all of the reactions to those actions would have been negative, and I didn’t want to add the weight of that stress to my precious flower’s load.
Come Sunday, I compromised with myself by sending no less than seventy very panicked text messages, each more frantic than the last over her lack of response.
That led to more out of character behavior for me when I broke several rules just as quickly as I sent those texts. I waited until sundown before I left my apartment, taking the back stairwell to the emergency exit on the rec hall, and entering Ward C outside of not only doctor hours but treatment hours as well. The residents have very recently gained the Saturday and Sunday privilege of independence from their programs and that sure as hell meant I shouldn’t have been there.
Since I was close to having a panic attack and on a roll breaking rules I’d normally be terrified not to follow, I continued on my erratic way, right into Des’s apartment and demanded he wake Korvin and Calix and bring them to me.
Which he did.
He was confused and rather groggy, but my alpha retrieved the rest of our pack and once I was staring at the three of them, I unceremoniously blurted out every worst case scenario I could think of that had even the most minuscule probability of happening to our girl. Without context, and almost too quickly to make sense of. Especially in the middle of the night.
It shouldn’t have been surprising when the three of them immediately went into protective mode, hackles raised and ready to storm the castle. I was flustered by it though, and since I’d been driving myself mad over why I hadn’t heard from Magnolia for two days, I did something I’ve never done before.
I cried.
Like a big, needy baby wearing a set of pajamas with stethoscopes all over them, I cried and had the worst panic attack I’ve had to date.
As the member of our pack with the most life experience, sitting at the ripe old age of thirty eight, I was a little embarrassed by my behavior but only for a moment because it didn’t phase my alphas and beta.
They listened, they soothed. They talked me through and eventually out of my panic attack, and they were extremely patient with me afterward while I explained what was going on.
We went through all the possibilities, discussed each conclusion we came to and though we were all tense and a little worried, being together made a massive difference.
Needless to say, the four of us slept on the floor of Desmond’s apartment last night, purely for comfort’s sake.
I went to my place early enough to beat any unexpected visitors on the ward, got myself together the best I could, and I’ve been sitting at my desk waiting for Magnolia to walk through my office door at any moment.
That was two hours ago.
I planted my ass in this chair two hours ago and I haven’t moved an inch while waiting for her to arrive.
Unless you count the incessant bouncing of my knee or clicking of the button on my pen. If that’smoving an inch,I’ve been sitting here breaking land speed records all morning.
With a sigh, I drop back against the cushioned leather and scrub my hands over my face, pushing my glasses up when I rub my eyes.
This is the scary part of bonding.
Bonding without directly living together in particular.
Every second apart feels like decades, and it allows for too much creativity when it comes to wondering what goes on during those same seconds.
“I’m being ridiculous,” I say out loud as I get to my feet. “Magnolia is perfectly fine, she’s just running behind because she forgot to set her alarm.”
While not out of the realm of possibility, it’s not likely. She’s just as eager to get to work as I am, for the very same reasons that happen to be of both the professional and personal variety.
I’m not going to dwell, though.
If I do, Des and Korvin will feel it, Calix might, too, and then we’ll have a repeat of last night when the three of them were ready to conduct a search and rescue, illegal or not.
So, I try to keep myself busy instead.
I stand from my desk and walk to the middle of my office, spinning in a slow circle while I search for something to do.
Only to find there’s not shit.
