I remember too much.
And no matter what I do, I can’t make those glimpses of my hell go away.
It follows me everywhere, just like the ghosts.
They won’t leave me alone.
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter as the storm rages outside my window, desperately trying to make me see.
“See me, Leonor! See me!”
With a wretch, I roll to my hands and knees, heaving as I crawl away from his words. Words that live inside my head, words that live on every inch of my body.
“You will see me, Leonor!”
The room tilts as I drag myself along the floor, grasping and clawing at the wood so I don’t fall off the edge. The edge I’ve been teetering on for months. The edge I can’t jump off of fast enough.
Tears stream down my face as bile rises in my throat, his voice so clear as it echoes in my head.
See me.
See me.
See me.
“Please stop,” I whisper while I fumble through my living room. “Please…”
You will see me.
You will see me.
A scream tears from my throat as I bump into something, the sound of cymbals and metal resounding throughout the entire space. And that one action, that one misstep is enough to set a chain of horrible events in motion.
I flip onto my back then go upright, scooting on my ass as I watch the high-hat crash into the snare, the drum banging into the guitar stand before it bounces off the floor. It rolls toward me then, slowly taunting as it comes for me, the vintage electric wobbling back and forth before it becomes a casualty too. Theneck breaks as it hits the piano bench, splitting into two pieces held together by its strings and when the lid slams on the baby grand, the keys cry out in pain.
See me.
I cover my ears at the sound, the bellowing instruments, the booming thunder. His voice that’s still screaming in my head.
“Stop,” I say to no one as I scramble backward, covering my ears, my eyes shut tight as the tears keep coming. “Stop, please.”
But it doesn’t.
Nothing stops except the destruction of their tools, the tools I once used and loved, the tools that will forever haunt me.
They belong to the devil now, and if I ever want to find peace, I have to join them.
I force my hands away from my head, force my eyes open as I plant them firmly on the floor. Pushing myself to my feet, I blink away the tears, but with every flash of lightning, I falter. In every flash of lightning, I see his eyes.
See me, Leonor.
Staggering toward the island in my kitchen, my stomach pitches and bottoms out, twisting in pain and fear as those eyes get closer.
You will see me!
“Stop!” I cry out as I fall back onto the counter, my head hitting the marble hard enough for spots to dance across my vision.
And that’s when I feel it, feelthem.
