“Fuck you, Leonor,” Mark spits as his eyes snap to mine. “You can go fuck yourself for everything you just said.”
“No thanks.” Deciding to make this way worse because I’m really pissed and don’t give a shit about the fact that we’re probably about to lose our bassistandsomeone we all love more than anything, I untie my kimono and straighten my spine. “I’ll wait for one of the boys.”
Mark’s expression goes dark again as I let the silk fall open, as it slides down my arms to pool around my hips. The hazel in his eyes almost seems to swirl as I lean back on my elbows, fully exposed save for my core. I didn’t have anything to put on after my shower, just my kimono and a pair of underwear that he must have grabbed before we left the loft, and that’s all I was wearing when I fell asleep—sheer, see through panties and that silky robe.
Until now.
Now, I’m sitting on this bed, one scrap of fabric away from completely naked and regardless of the why behind it, everything inside me flips and flutters under Markus’ angry, heated stare.
My skin is entirely covered in goosebumps, my nipples are puckered and tight, and my pussy is practically throbbing in pain. The pain of wanting this man inside me so badly it fucking hurts, especially with the growing possibility of losing him completely.
But I still push the damn envelope, anyway.
“Right here,” I say as I widen my thighs, planting my feet on the edge of the mattress as I tilt my head. “My pussy is wet just thinking about it.”
It is to be totally honest, mad or not, but it’s solely because of the way Mark’s eyes drop briefly to look.
“Don’t be a bitch, Leonor.”
“What?”
“You know what.”
I grin as I circle my nipples with my fingers, twisting the barbells, my hips rolling the slightest bit. “Is it the idea of them fucking me, fucking each other, or is it the way I’m laid out in front of you that has you pissed off and grossed out?”
Why am I doing this?
Taunting this man, pushing my teddy bear to hate me so he’ll leave. This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done, it might even be top five on the list, and doing this will not only guarantee Markus walking, I’ll probably lose the rest of them, too.
For some fucked up reason, I can’t stop.
It’s like I need him to admit that he hates me, like I need to hear Mark tell me he did love me once but not anymore, and it’ll be a cold day in hell before he’d ever feel that way again. Because if he doesn’t, if he never says anything at all about the various changes in relationship status between the rest of us, if he keeps quiet over everything he feels, I don’t know if I can take it.
That makes me a hypocrite, I know. I’ve barely talked about any of my feelings outside of being in love with them, haven’t really discussed my truth and all the baggage that comes with that. I’ve fought my boys at every turn whether it was subtle or in their face and secretly demanding that from Markus isn’t fair.
So I’m trying to push him away instead, and that’s just as shitty.
Because I don’t want that.
I don’t want him to go, I don’t want him to hate me but if kissing me was somehow wrong in his eyes, if he has a problem with anything the rest of us are doing, how do we move forward from that?
“God, you’re really pushing my buttons, Leonor.” Mark runs his hands over his skull trim as he turns away from me. “Every last one.”
“So it’s all of the above then? Everything the four of us?—”
“Shut your goddamn mouth,” he hisses as he spins toward me, pointing a finger at me from across the room.
I don’t, though. Even as my throat goes tight. “I’m done keeping my mouth shut, Markus. Things have been weird between us for weeks, fucking weeks, and I know part of it is navigating everything while I keep secrets and we avoid talking about trauma but I?—”
“I fucking love you, ok?”
My mouth snaps shut as I push myself up, sitting on the edge of bed in shock. I’m shocked because I didn’t think I’d be hearing that from him, especially in present tense but that’s what he used, and that’s exactly what I heard.
He laughs, albeit sarcastically. “Really? You’re surprised by that?” I nod and Mark rolls his eyes. “It shouldn’t be shocking, not after finding out how the rest of them felt. Not to mention I fucking saw it on your face earlier, you knew how I felt when we were arguing about Collinsworth, so spare me the act.”
“It’s not an act so don’t be a dick.” My shock immediately disappears and is replaced by anger again. “I saw someone who loved me at some point but gave up. You fucking gave me up andthat’swhat I knew when we were arguing.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
