“Of course.”
“With a shot of honey?”
“Will you drink it any other way?”
“No,” I say with a smirk as I watch her set the tray on the nightstand.
Justine tests one of the mugs, carefully touching the outside of it before picking it up then hands it to me as she slides onto the quilt at my side.
She brought a second mug and a small tea pot clearly full of hot water based on the steam, the honey, and a few extra tea bags but instead of pouring herself some, Justine repeatedly smooths out the top of her skirt.
Her eyes are downcast, fixed on the way her hands move and as I watch her from my peripheral, I can’t help but smile a little.
“Is it too hot?” Justine glances at me again before going back to her linen skirt. “I can have Pierre bring you some ice if it?—"
“I’m ok, Justine.”
Her gaze lifts to mine, tears brimming on her lower lashes. “I know.”
“Do you, though?” I take a sip of tea and smile.She made it perfectly, the same as she always did.“Because I don’t think you do.”
“I do.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” Justine huffs before her shoulders sag. “I can see that you’re ok, and I know there isn’t anything physically wrong with you, but I can’t help worrying, Leonor. What happened today, what’s been happening… it all feels too much like?—"
“The most morbid case of deja vu known to man?”
She frowns before rolling her eyes. “That’s not exactly how I was going to put it but, yes. This is all too familiar, and I don’t like it.”
Taking another sip of the warm peppermint and honey goodness, I turn to face her, tucking my legs under me. “Neither do I.”
“Which is why I’m worried. You’ve been doing so well the last few months and to have something like this happen? To be dealing withanotherstalker on your own? This is the sort of thing that could…”
Her words trail off as Justine looks away, discreetly wiping her eyes and taking a shuddering breath.
I know why she’s worried, whyeveryoneis worried, but I’m actually ok.
Scared? Absolutely, I’d be crazy not to be but regardless of how familiar all of this is, it doesn’t have me ready to eat all of my prescriptions in one sitting or reacquaint my wrists with a razor blade.
I know that’s what everyone is thinking.
I don’t doubt for one second Justine and Pierre have had terrible flashbacks of walking in on the multiple times I tried to kill myself because I didn’t know how else to cope. Just like I’m sure the boys are all chomping at the bit to get here so they can keep an extra close eye on me. They don’t know everything, but they know enough to be extremely worried about me and what I might do after finding a goat’s head on my balcony.
Maybe it’s because this is the same but different.
Similar because of the things left for me to find, because there’s another human stalking me and my boys but it’s not the exact same. Not yet anyway, and because I have been doing well—the last couple months and not really the six or seven Justine implied—I’m more hopeful that this won’t turn into a complete repeat situation.
Yes, things have been escalating. Dead animals aren’t the same as the notes and roses, but I’m feeling oddly optimistic.
And that’s probably because I have my family back.
My relationship with Justine and Pierre has settled into something close to what it was before, the only difference being the level of hesitation when it comes to certain things. They’re leery and have every right to be but aside from that, mymama and daddyhave gone back to being just that.
Then there’s the guys.
Having them back, seeing them every day, it’s done wonders for me and I’m struggling to reconcile my previous line of thinking with the hard truth. The truth being that I need them because they make me stronger, they make me feel loved and safe, and they really do make me whole. All without factoring in the evolution of my relationships with three of them.
