Page 111 of Nevermore
“I hit him for both of you,” I say as I slip my arms into the silk, pulling it closed before I drop my towel. “I’m not going to stand by and let some pencil dick asshole talk shit.”
“I know.” Mark kisses my temple with a small smile. He goes back to leaning on the counter and watches me start in on the rest of my skin care. “And I appreciate it but it doesn’t bother me anymore, Leo. I’ve had adad bodsince I was a kid, it’s not a big deal.”
“Maybe it isn’t to you, but it is to me.” It always has been.
Because Mark can say it’s not a big deal or it doesn’t faze him until he’s blue in the face but I know different. The fact that he doesn’t have some insane six pack the way other guys do gets to him.
It doesn’t matter that Mark’s biceps are the size of my head or that his thighs are at least the size of two of mine side by side. He can bench press as much as Lucky weighs, for fuck sake, the dude is a bear. And, he’s hot.
Mark is the only guy with a beard I’ve ever been attracted to but he’s sexy with or without it because his jawline is perfect, his nose is Romanesque, and his lips are fuller than mine. And his eyes… those hazel eyes that favor green? They’re so pretty, especially with his mile long lashes framing them.
Combine all of that with his personality and Mark is the total package. He’s the only one who can’t see it no matter what he says.
“You weren’tonly pissed.”
I set down my lotion then pause, turning to face him completely. “I was creeped out.”
Mark gives me a soft smile. “You were scared, Leo. I saw it as soon as I got out of the beast.”
“So?” I nearly snap as I quickly brush past him, moving into the bedroom because I don’t want to talk about this.
“So?” Mark follows me, obviously not ready to let this go. “So you were fucking scared, and I want to know why.”
“I was alone at work with a guy I don’t really know, and my tires were slashed. I think that’s pretty valid.”
He pulls his shirt off and tosses it on the floor then starts digging through his drawers in the dresser. “Valid, yes. It’s valid to be afraid of a dildo who won’t leave you the fuck alone but I know you, Leonor, and you can’t tell me?—“
“Fine,” I grunt as I bend forward and remove the towel from around my head. “Collinsworth scares the fuck out of me, ok? I don’t know why, he’s been a creeper and pushy but that’s not enough to have me panicking.” Aggressively drying my hair, I start getting defensive. “Not that I need a reason but if you really want one, we’ll just call it PTSD, ok?”
“Oh fuck right off, Leonor,” Mark says as I go upright, losing my balance a bit when I realize he’s standing there in nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs. “That’s not what I mean.”
What were we talking about?
I’ve seen Markus like this hundreds of times, hell I’ve seen him naked save for the goods but there really is something about seeing my boys like thisafteraccepting how I’ve always felt about them. Just like it was with the other three, the thrill that races down my spine and lands right between my thighswhile looking at one of them now is both exciting and terrifying. Probably more so with Mark because we can guess all we want but he’sneverso much as hinted at being the slightest bit attracted to any of us.
Love, relationships, and sex? That’s an even bigger mystery, and I’d need him to spell it out for me.
Doesn’t change my feelings toward him, though.
“And, yeah, we’re going to keep avoiding that shit, all the trauma and baggage, all the fucked up things that happened back then.” Mark throws the clothes he just took out of the dresser on the bed and points a finger at me. “You don’t even want to talk about the fucked up shit going on now. Just like you won’t talk about whatever thesesecretsare that apparently only Franc De la Grange knows. I’ve been letting all that slide for some fucking reason.”
Oh right, we’re fighting.
I scowl as I step forward and point right back at him. “You’ve been letting itslide? Wow, such a fucking saint.”
“Don’t, Leonor. Don’t you fucking go there with me.”
“What? Don’t want to talk about the heavy shit? Change your mind? I thought?—“
“All I haveeverwanted was to be there for you, to protect you and help you through everything and anything life puts in your path but I’m not pushing you, Leo.” He closes the gap between us and lowers his head, the two of us now nose to nose. “Keeping you is way more important than hashing things out so if you don’t want to talk about them, fine, but wewilltalk about Collinsworth because I’m not going to sit by and let some pompous piece of shit make you feel anything less than the fucking stubborn, perfect, mouthy warrior you are. It’s not happening.”
Tears instantly spring to my eyes, my anger subsiding and turning into this gut wrenching, almost twisting pang of regret.Because those words, the look in Mark’s beautiful hazel eyes, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.
There is love there, a different kind of love than what I always thought it was.
Unrequited, and possibly broken.
Whether or not Mark is in love with me, with any of us now doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because he was at one point, maybe for a long time, but he almost looks like he’s given up.
