Page 79 of Cryptic Dreams
Nope.
I’ve shared with him my concerns, verbally as well as through what he picks up in my head, but I haven’t told himwhythey’re so intense and I can’t help but feel like it’s going to come back and bite me in the ass.
“Zephyr?”
I glance back at Wraith and force a smile as Declan comes around to my door. “I’m just nervous, honey. Really, super nervous. This is kind of a big deal.”
“For more reasons than the ones we’ve discussed at length, yeah?”
God, I hate keeping things from him. Especially when he’s giving me a look so full of love, one full of that and concern, but also calls me on my bullshit.
I need to tell him,haveto tell him, and soon, because keeping this wall between us is so much harder than it was before, both physically and emotionally, and honestly, Wraith deserves to know. It’s the only thing I have left to tell him, the only secret I have at all, and I know it hurts Wraith by keeping it from him. He hasn’t said as much and probably never will, but I can feel it, feel the way it upsets him that I’ve shut my mate out to this one particular thing. It kills me to do it too, and even though I’ve made huge progress when it comes to embracing who I am more wholly, I still harbor a little fear over sharing this part of myself with Wraith.
Will he reject me then? Decide I’m a freak just like the others did when they found out about my gifts? Will my mate think I’m crazy? Think my talk of dreams and visions, omens and prophetic tendencies are total bullshit? Will Wraith look at the scars on my palms in a different way when I tell him what I think they mean, look at them with disgust instead of the reverent curiosity he had each time he kissed them or traced them with his fingers or tongue?
I’m terrified that my gifts could change everything between us the same way they changed everything about my life in general, and while I know it could also be beneficial to share it—not just for my peace of mind, but also for my mate who leads a rebel, illegal army—I just can’t bring myself to explain everything.
And that probably makes me the world’s worst mate ever.
My door starts to open but just when I go to turn, Wraith’s hand shoots out across my lap and grabs the handle, successfully keeping it in place. “Zephyr.”
Slowly, I meet his beautiful black eyes.
“I will never, ever force you to do anything you truly do not wish to do, but I can feel how this goes beyond nerves over participating in your first Counsel meeting or being thrust into a room with my bastard sire and bitch mother. There is more, I can sense it, though that isallI can sense.” His gaze searches my eyes before Wraith sighs and rests his forehead against mine. “I struggle with these feelings, struggle with the way you can shut me out and the emotions it creates within me. I want nothing more than to share in every bit of who you are, to bask in all that is my perfect mate, but I cannot make you do that.” He closes his eyes and leans into my touch as I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks. “It kills me to feel your worry, your concern, your fear, and not know what causes them, what I can do to make them disappear. As your mate it is my instinct to protect you in all ways, even from the things conjured in your mind, and I cannot do that if you do not tell me where the root of these feelings stem from. But I can only implore you,begyou to be completely transparent with me, I cannot nor would I force you to—”
“Ok,” I whisper. “I promise, tonight when we get home, I will tell you everything, theonlything I have ever kept from you.” Those obsidian orbs flip open and burn into me, right into my very soul. “And you have my word that once I tell you, I will never, ever keep anything from you again.”
Wraith’s breath whooshes from him as he sags in relief. “I do not mean to be so pushy, my love. I just worry for you, worry for us, and I… “
“I know. I know and I’m sorry for creating doubt or concern. It has nothing to do with you, or even us really, just me. My love for you is unshakable, immovable, and eternal.”Here’s hoping his for me is the same. “I love you, honey, and I promise, this has nothing to do with that or our bond.”
“Why, Zephyr.” My mate grins as he brushes his lips against mine. “I do believe you just made meswoon.”
I giggle as he kisses me a little harder then smile when he lets go of the door and gives me enough space to get out of the car.
God, I really do love him with my entire heart.
“And I, you, my gentle breeze. I love you with my entire heart as well.”
“Everything alright?” Declan asks as I take his hand and step out onto the freakingred carpetI didn’t notice when we pulled up.
“Right as rain, mate.” Wraith unfolds himself from the back of the car, then claps him on the back as he stands. “Just trying to cop a feel before having a visit with good oldMum and Dad.”
Declan smirks and I roll my eyes. “Really? Can’t bite your tongue long enough to get through tonight without remarks like that?”
“Bah.” My mate tugs the hem of his jacket—the one that looks a little more like a military uniform worn on special occasions that he has to wear for these meetings—before fixing his cufflinks then extending his elbow for me to take. “I am who I am, company be damned. Everyone who knows me has heard far worse come from my mouth, and Atticus would surely think me ill if I all of the sudden stopped being the crass, crude disappointment he believes me to be.” Then he grins that evil grin at me as I loop my arm through his. “Especially when I have myfuckably deliciousmate on my arm wearing a fabulous gown I have every intention of crawling underneath the moment I have the opportunity to do so.”
With a blush that might melt the makeup right off my face, I lift the end of my gown with one hand and grip my mate’s arm tight with the other as we start walking toward the door, Declan snickering behind us.
Insufferable.
That’s what Wraith is and I can’t really even pretend to be mad at it.
“Now then, love. You remember what I explained last night?”
I nod and take a deep breath.
Not that I needed him to go over every last detail the way he did—this is the kind of crap I’m studying for my degrees after all—but I’m glad Wraith touched on a few specific things.
