Page 36 of Cryptic Dreams
But it proves our mates complete us and while I don’t care that Wraith has probably been with more sexual partners than the population of New Orleans combined purely based on age alone, I don’t need to be reminded of that or the fact that I’ll never shareanyintimacy with him by sitting in the bed that belongs to the male who doesn’t want me.
“I can’t be here.” I pull the blankets off my legs with a wince and attempt to scramble out of the bed I suddenly want to burn. “I have to go. Why did you bring me here?” Tears roll down my cheeks but they intensify when I turn and a pain lances through my stomach.
Orion grips my shoulders as Aries comes to stand behind him, my cousin forcing me gently back into the bed I hate. “He knows you’re here, Z. Wraith was the one that told us to bring you here.”
Well, that can’t be right.
So I shake my head. “He doesn’t want me, Orion. I’m not good enough for him. He doesn’t want me and I have to go; I can’t be here. I can’t see him, not after...”
Anger flashes across my cousin’s face but it’s quickly replaced by another soft smile as he tucks me back in. “Wraith knows you’re here because he told us to bring you here. And he told us to do that because he wants you here.” Orion looks around briefly. “To be honest, I’m surprised he isn’t here now, he hasn’t left your side for more than a few minutes the last few days.”
Ignoring that completely contradictory statement and the many questions it creates, I opt to ask, “Last few days? How long was I out?”
“Almost three days,” Aries says as he pats my shin. “Which is why I’m going to go get you a few blood bags. I’m sure you’re starving after such a long nap.” And with a sweet smile and wink, Aries disappears out the door.
I blink at Orion as he sits on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been out for almost three days?”
He nods.
“How? Why? Ian has beat me to the point of unconsciousness before but I’m usually only out a few hours. I’ve never, never gone so long... ”
My cousin clenches his fists for a second then takes a deep breath. “This time was different, Z.”
“Different how? I don’t remember what happened, not completely. I vaguely remember Ian coming into the kitchen while I was cleaning, getting mad about something and hitting me with those silver brass knuckles but… I can’t remember what happened after that.”
Orion climbs onto the bed completely, scoots next to me and wraps me in a hug I didn’t realize I needed. “When Wraith found you, when we found you in the cellar, it was obvious you’d been down there for a while, maybe a couple days given the way...” He swallows hard and shakes his head. “Given the way your clothes looked. Ian had stabbed you with a hunting knife, one made of silver.”
I nod and hug him harder as my heart rate picks up a bit. “Which is why I don’t remember anything, why I almost died.”
“Yeah.” Orion clears his throat, a habit he’s had since we were young, one that he developed when he didn’t like discussing whatever was being talked about. “Thankfully it didn’t hit your heart but whatever happened when he stabbed you meant the knife was stuck and that’s why you kept bleeding out.” He presses a kiss to my hair. “Do you remember what you did to him?Howyou did that to him?”
I reach up and cup his cheek again, bringing back the images so I can pinpoint the one of Ian laid out on the ground, his body burned to the point of almost unrecognizable. I focus on that horrible sight but I can’t remember what happened no matter how hard I try.
“I have no idea.” I sigh and wrap my arm around him again and grip his shirt tightly in my fists. “I can’t remember anything past the kitchen and if that was close to a week ago at this point, I’m not sure if I will.”
“Just rest then, Z. Rest, eat something, let your body keep healing. We can hash out all the details when you’re feeling better.”
I roll my lips between my teeth and hate that my curiosity is so damn morbid. “Why didn’t I die, Orion? I shouldn’t have survived that, not if silver was involved, not if it was in my body so long. How did I live through that?” Because I was in a place where living seemed really damn pointless and I was ready for death. I won’t tell him that though, it’ll just hurt him to hear it.
“At some point.” Orion yawns into my hair as his stomach rumbles, my cousin obviously skipping out on sleep and meals thanks to me. “At some point it’s going to be important for you to talk to your mate.”
More tears well in my eyes as I shake my head, but Orion just hugs me harder.
“You need to, Z. If only to clear the air and get facts straight. No one is going to push, but you need to talk to Wraith and maybe when you do, everything will start to make sense.”
I don’t argue, don’t speak at all. I just close my eyes and let my tears fall until I’m too tired to even do that.
And hopefully I’ll be too tired to dream that horrible dream that has only gotten worse since Wraith told me I was nothing, since I confirmed I have a mate and he doesn’t want me. I can’t bear that grief and pain too.
12
A Most Beautiful Pain
WRAITH
She finally sleeps, my gentle breeze. She sleeps peacefully for the first time today; her breaths even, her heartbeat strong and steady, rhythmically slow and at ease just like mine.
I feel her more intensely now that a bit of my blood flows through her veins. That connection I felt so acutely before has magnified and doubled, and not only from sharing her space but because my life force runs through and mingles with hers.
