Page 5 of Insidious Heart
Thank fuck, it’s clear.
My bare feet move as fast as they can toward Sister Sylvia’s room and I stop briefly to listen, hoisting Toby over my shoulder to free up one hand, and when I don’t hear anything but the bitch snoring, I lock her door, strike a match, then tuck it into the book before shoving it under the ancient wood.
This is for you, Toby.
I keep saying it over and over as I start to run, carrying the body of my brother who never really had a chance, who I could never protect or care for the way I should have, through St. Pat’s toward the underground tunnel.
It plays on a loop in my head as I race toward my escape, running toward freedom and a life I will dedicate to the memory of the sweet little cherub I couldn’t save.
I run toward my fate, toward the true nature everyone has always claimed to be mine, toward thedemonthat does live inside me.
I run toward the monster I’ve become, embracing it fully as I leave the ghost of who I once was to burn inside that hell on earth.
I am a ghost because Victor Crow is dead.
CHAPTERONE
STEVIE
“My baby! Where is my baby?!”
I stop about halfway down the hall asthatfrantic question meets my ears, and I hold my breath.
A few seconds go by, agonizing seconds that tick by so slowly I can physically feel them drag on while I wait.
“My baby! I can’t find my baby!”
Glancing behind me, I search for any signs of life, any sign that someone else is hearing this broken plea, and will come out any minute ready to help this poor woman, but every door remains shut. I turn back to the hall in front of me, looking for the same but see nothing other than the flickering exit sign over the door a few feet ahead. The door I was supposed to walk through ten minutes ago.
A few beats of silence pass and just as I feel like maybe the crisis has too, an ear-piercing sob has me spinning on my heel.
“Oh my god, my baby isgone!”
“Mrs. Sanderson?” I whisper as I push open the door. “Mrs. Sanderson? Margie?”
She comes rushing toward me before I’m even in the room. “Oh thank god! Stevie, my baby! My baby is missing!”
With a soft smile, I take her trembling hands in mine and sigh. “I’m sure she’s around here somewhere, Mrs. Sanderson. Jolene wouldn’t wander off like that.”
“Because someone took her!” Her glassy eyes search mine. “She was just here. I put her to bed, went to change, and when I came back she was gone!”
“Why don’t you sit for a spell and try to relax, and I’ll see if I can find Jolene, ok?” I nod slowly as I turn her toward the rocking chair in the corner, relieved when Mrs. Sanderson lets me.
“Would you?” She drops into the chair and starts wringing her hands. “Would you, please? I’ve searched everywhere and I can’t find her. If something happened to my baby…”
“I know. I’ll find her, ok?”
Margie just nods.
And with a sigh, I turn and begin my hunt.
Under the bed and in dresser drawers. I check the bathroom, under the sink, and in the shower, and when there’s still no sign of Jolene, I can feel myself start to get angry.
If she’s where I think she is…
Sure enough, I open the antique wardrobe, drop to my knees and lift the lid on the weathered toy box to find Jolene lying on top of the well-loved trinkets.
So frustrating.
