Page 20 of Insidious Heart
Did this stop Joker from trying to get his hands on me after that? No. It seemingly didn’t faze him at all.
Since then, we’ve been in that exact situation more than a handful of times, and last night I woke up to Joker looming over me while I was lying in bed. And the minute my eyes opened, he grinned down at me, started unbuckling his belt, and got the fly down before he climbed on top of me.
I fought him, though.
I fought him hard: kicked and flailed. I even left scratch marks on his face and arms but Joker is so much bigger than me that it was useless. And when I thought for sure he was about to do something more horrible than Beau has ever done, his phone started ringing and Joker stopped.
Cal called him, and because Joker knows you don’t ignore anyone in the EC, he answered, fixed his jeans, and left without a word. He left my house completely too, because after I cried myself to sleep, I woke up around one in the morning, checked to see if he was back, and was met by two new patches sitting outside my bedroom door. And they’re the ones who told me Joker was gone and wouldn’t be back until he picked me up for class in the morning.
Let me tell you what. Riding around today, with the asshole who tried to rape me, was even more terrifying than expecting a lecture from my father, and there was no way I was going to call off of work and get stuck with him all day.
It’s bad enough he’s picking me up from work tonight.
“Hey.” Linnie grins as she cleans up her tools and starts washing her hands. “So I’m having a party on Friday…”
I smirk as I hop down from the counter and start fixing my scrubs. “Yeah?”
“Yep. Aspecialkind of party.”
“Ok…”
My friend wags her eyebrows then gives me a look like I’m supposed to know what she’s talking about, but I have no clue.
“Like a themed party or…”
Linnie giggles. “Stevie, come on!” Then she leans toward me and whispers, “Asex toyparty.”
“Oh,”I whisper back as my face heats.
I’m no virgin—shockingly, all considering—and I do own a vibrator, but I don’t have very much experience in this sort of thing, and what I do have isn’t great.
Losing my v-card as a senior in high school to my secret boyfriend in the janitor’s closet wasn’t exactly memorable for the right reasons. Just like only having sex with two guys over the almost six years since then in relatively similar ways doesn’t count for a lot of good experience either.
I like sex, or I’m sure I would if I could have more of it, and I have needs just like anyone else, but my life doesn’t allow for relationships, let alone a healthy or active sex life, and all of my encounters have basically been like the first time.
And Linnie is how I got my vibrator.
Through another party like the one she’s telling me about, as a matter of fact, but I didn’t go to it. I don’t get to go to parties. But when she showed me the catalog in order to try to convince me that I should come, I ordered a vibrator out of guilt and she brought it to me at work the next shift we had together.
Looks like I’ll be getting a fancy new dildo to go with my vibrator.
“I was thinking, since we both get out early Friday, you could follow me to my place and we could…”
But I’m already shaking my head. “I’m sorry, Linnie, but I can’t go.”
“Why?”
“Well, my car is”—booted in the garage at my father’s clubhouse—”in the shop, so that won’t work.”
“I could drive you.”
“Won’t you be drinking?” I ask with a frown.
“Then we’ll get a DD.”
I give her a soft smile. “I appreciate it, but I have plans.”
Linnie’s brow lifts skeptically.
