Page 140 of Insidious Heart
“I see that now. I do, and it means the world to me.”
Linnie’s smile grows as she leans toward me, her eyes sliding shut while she cups my cheek and brings her lips close to mine but just before this psycho kisses me, I blurt, “Wait.”
Her eyes snap open and the look she gives me, the way her fist slides along my jaw and her fingers tangle tightly in my hair says I need to tread lightly.
“I… it’s our first kiss, Linnie. I…”I’m going to be sick. “Let me touch you, too. I want it to be special.”
“Bullshit.” Her grip tightens and she yanks my head back. “You’re just trying to get me to take the tape off your hands.”
“No! No, Linnie, I swear!” She tugs again and I whimper. “I swear! I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, to hold you and share something so special with you. Please, just let me do that, then you can tape me back up and we’ll be together.”
Linnie searches my face for a few beats before her fingers loosen and she nods. “Ok, girlie. You’re right. This should be special. We’ve waited so long to be together and I don’t want to deprive us from making our first kiss one to remember.”
I nod and force a smile as Linnie helps me sit up and when she moves to cut the tape around my wrists, I glance at Victor.Hold on, Gizmo. Hold on, Tor. Please. Don’t leave me yet. Just stay with me.
“Ready?” The woman I thought was my friend asks as she climbs onto my lap, straddling my hips as she cups my face again with both hands. “God, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”
“Me too.” But when she leans in, I wince from the way the knife in her hand pushes against my cheek. “Can you put that down first, though?” Rage passes over her expressions so I quickly lift my hands to her face and force her eyes on mine. “It stings a little and I don’t want anything distracting me from”—I close my eyes tight and brush my lips against hers—“from kissing you.”
Linnie’s entire body relaxes into mine as I press my mouth to hers, the knife dropping from her hand as both slide to my jaw. I squint to make sure her eyes are closed and when I confirm they are, I keep squinting so I can search for the knife.
“Stevie,” Linnie sighs as she kisses my jaw. “Stevie, I—”
Pushing down the urge to vomit and all of the other horrible things happening inside me right now, I slam my mouth against hers, shoving my tongue between her lips as I start to slide my hands down her body.
I’m going to be sick.
And it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a woman.
If Linnie had been normal about her feelings, had handled them in a less psycho way and I hadn’t met Victor, I might have entertained the idea of something with her. She’s beautiful and funny, and Linnie has always cared so much about me, so in a universe where I wasn’t a prisoner in my own house, and she wasn’t a homicidal maniac, we could have tried to be more than friends.
But the fact that sheisa homicidal maniac, one who is clearly obsessed with me in a very different way than my ghost,that’swhy I feel sick.
And playing into that is the only way I’m getting Victor and my brothers out of here alive.
“Stevie,” Linnie moans as I hesitantly cup her breast, her arms wrapping around my neck as she deepens the kiss.
I barely suppress a gag as I do it again, my other hand moving over her side around to her ass—just an inch or so away from the knife. And when I squeeze it, pulling Linnie closer to my body and further away from the blade I desperately need, the psycho has the nerve to bear down on my lap and start humping me.
Fucking gross.
Which is hypocritical, if I’m being honest, since Victor and I have been in a similar situation, but it isn’t the same. Not even a little. There was consent between my ghost and I, for one, clear consent that wasn’t given because of fear. And even then, standing a few feet from one of his murder victims and after only seeing him once before in a dark parking lot, I felt our connection. From the second he started calling me those stupid nicknames, I knew Victor was different; he was special, and when he killed purely to save me without thinking twice about the reprocussions, I think that’s when I fell in love with Victor Crow. So, what is happening now is nothing like what my ghost and I did because we’ve loved each other from the start, even if we didn’t understand it.
And I keep going because I still love Victor and plan to walk out of here with him, so I need that knife.
My hand leaves her breast and joins the other on her ass, holding her close as Linnie moans into my mouth and grinds against me.
Her back arches and she breaks the kiss, gasping for breath on a throaty moan. “Yes, yes, Stevie. God, I’ve wanted you for so long.”
“Me too,” I lie as I kiss down her neck, grimacing as I glance over her shoulder to check on Victor while slowly moving my hand toward the weapon. “So long.”
“Tell me again,” Linnie says as she suddenly looks me in the eye, my hand freezing in mid air inches above the knife. “Tell me how bad you want me.”
“So bad, Linnie. I want you so bad.”
She moans before kissing me again, hard and aggressive, her hips working faster in my lap and when I squeeze her ass and pull her even closer, I make my move.
I grab the knife and don’t even hesitate to plunge it through her side.
