Page 98 of Broken Warrior
She was always my protector, my best friend and biggest fan. Neither of us remember a ton from when we were kids—PTSD and all that—but what we do remember absolutely confirms that we are two peas in a pod that would do anything for each other. It’s why Dori tried to save me so many years ago, and it’s why I knew I could count on her to help me now when I needed to save myself.
But loving Fin, falling in love with him and realizing he’s the other half of my heart and soul… that’s something I didn’t know I was capable of.
I didn’t think I deserved it for a long time, thought that whatever it was that happened with Gino was all I’d ever have. No sweet kisses, no hand holding. No flirting or butterflies. No passion, romance, or real closeness. I never thought I’d want to fall in love after living with Gino for so long and I definitely didn’t think I’d enjoy sex after his warped equivalent. I had nothing to compare love to before Gino since my parents were garbage at best, and then he took me. I saw so many horrible things—infidelity, rape, blackmail—between married couples before I was a legal adult and Gino worked them into the fucked up relationship we had. And surprisingly, it only convinced me that true love existed and was nothing like any of that. I refused to believe there wasn’t something better out there, that love was a sham or something, and holding onto that hope helped me keep going, even if I didn’t believe it was something I’d have for myself.
Then I met Fin.
It hasn’t been easy, not by a long shot, but it was instant and intense. Falling in love with Fin was like trying to breathe with a cement block sitting on your chest. It was reflex to keep trying because I knew I was supposed to do it, but I had to fight in order to get the weight off before I could take a full breath. And when I was finally able to, when Fin and I got through some of the biggest obstacles standing in our way, I couldn’t help but draw in lungful after lungful of air.
I love him so much, more than I can really comprehend, and I’ve never been more grateful for anything than the way Fin loves me and James back.
“You should go back to sleep,m’eudail,” Fin says with a grin as he walks out of the bathroom toward the dresser. “We were up most of the night and I’m sure you’re tired.”
He throws me a wink and wags his eyebrows as I laugh. “I’m not very tired actually, but I have a feeling I’ll be walking around for a while today like I’ve been horseback riding twenty-four hours a day, every day, for the last two years straight.”
“Then my work here is done.”
With a smirk, I get out of bed and stretch a little, my body deliciously sore in all the right places just like I thought it would be. “Hardly.”
“Oh?” Fin arches a brow. “You want me to skip the gym so you can be my workout today? Afterward, you and Blondie can waddle around her yard together while she barks orders at Cy planning every detail of the baby shower at scary pregnant Theo volume.”
I try to scowl at my boyfriend but can’t. He’s funny and too cute, but also, everything really does ache, so walking—or waddling, as Fin correctly predicted—makes me wince. “While I believe we need to figure out a more regular schedule for our sex life so I don’t walk like this every time we get to bang, you have a gym date with Pope and I can get in a little reading before James gets up. I might even take a bath to soak my muscles while I do it.”
“Tate.” I stop just outside the bathroom and look over at Fin, a little worry flashing in those icy eyes. “You’ll be ok while I’m gone?”
Yep, super in love with my boyfriend.
“I’ll be fine, baby. You’ll be back soon, the security system is up and running, and I don’t doubt that you’re going to wake up Jackal or Marbles as soon as you walk out the door and make one of them sit on the apartment while you’re gone. I will be fine, James will be fine. Go do your thing and we’ll have breakfast when you get back.” Fin searches my eyes for a few seconds so I postpone my trip to the bathroom. I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his bare chest. “This isn’t the first time we’ve been alone here since everything happened, Fin.”
“Yeah, but… this isn’t going to be just a few minutes. And there aren’t any patches outside since I’m here.”
I tilt my head back and rest my chin over his racing heart. “We will befine, Finlay. I promise. Getting back into a routine and keeping a level of normalcy is important. And not just for you, but for me and James too. Hitting the gym is part of that for you, reading is that for me, getting up at the asscrack of dawn and demanding French toast is that for James.” Fin snorts as he hugs me tightly. “You can’t put everything on hold just becausesomethingmight happen. Nothing is going to happen right now, and we need to start living our life together like it never will.”
“You’re right.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, I just… that shit with Rosco, it all freaked me out and I’m being overprotective.”
I push up on my toes and meet him halfway as Fin lowers his face for a kiss. “Don’t apologize, baby. You don’t have to. You love us and want to keep us safe. That isn’t overprotective, nor does it require an apology.”
“Maybe I can convince Pope to just go for a run today. Stay close but still do what we planned to do.”
“However you want to do it is up to you, I just want to make sure you do it and don’t let me alter your life more than I have for the last several months.”
With one more kiss, I head back to the bathroom, pee, then put on my robe.
Fin won’t drink any before he goes to workout, but coffee sounds fantastic right now.
Coffee, a good book, and a bath during the quiet hours of the morning.
Perfect.
I walk out to find my boyfriend half dressed, sitting on the end of the bed lacing up his sneakers.
He’s so sexy like that, so I tell him. “You’re looking mighty hot this morning, Mr. MacAllister.”
Fin rolls his eyes but his smile gives him away. “You’re biased because I give you orgasms.”
“That’s a definite bonus, sure, but orgasms don’t make you sexy.Youlooking like the Scottish viking you are makes you some serious eye candy.”
He stops, looks up, then after a few beats, he laughs. “You are sounding more and more like Blondie every day.”
