I can befuriousabout everything that happened to me.
I get to be angry over my sperm donor selling me to the mob. Pissed about the years of physical, emotional, and mental abuse I endured before I was eighteen. Livid over the repeated sexual abuse that accompanied it after I was a legal adult. I get to be mad as hell over the years of life I lost because I became a prisoner—a slave—to one of the scariest, most cruel men to ever exist, and I can be more furious than a mama bear over the way it all affected my sweet little boy.
So yeah, I’m mad and I have every right to be, and the fact that I’m sitting in the champagne room of the strip club I work in, studying for my GED test with its head of security because I wasn’t allowed to have an education past the age of eleven is just the icing on the shit cake.
Gino Valetti tookeverythingfrom me and having to fight so hard to get any of it back really pisses me off.
“Cordy?”
My gaze lifts from the pile of papers on the floor, connecting with Elias’s concerned one. “I hate him.”
He sighs. “I know, babe. I hate the fucker, too. I don’t even need all the reasons you always promise to share with me to do it either because I adore you and if you hate him, I hate him double for that alone.”
“And I adore you forever for that.” I blow out a breath and try to shake off my anger. “And I love that you’re trying to help me with this crap, but I just can’t seem to get it.”
“You will. I promise. You nailed the ELA part and did really well on social studies.”
“But I bombed math and now science.”
“So maybe they aren’t your best subjects…” Elias grins as he nudges me with his elbow. “But I have faith in you. You’ll get them both eventually, and you’ve given yourself plenty of time to do it.” He quirks a brow. “And even though I’m more than happy to help you study while I protect your fine ass, not to mention sitting in here eating snacks and relaxing on these new couches isn’t a terrible gig, don’t you think there’s someone more qualified to—”
I lift my hand to stop him. “Don’t even go there.”
Elias rolls his eyes as he leans back on said couch. “I’m just saying, it seems to me you’ve got an extremely intelligent man at your disposal, one that loves you foreverythingyou are, thinks you walk on water, and would be elated to help you cram for this test. I don’t know why you won’t just ask him.”
“Because…”Because I don’t want Fin to think I’m stupid. “You’re a great teacher, E.”
“I know.”
“Besides, it’s a good way to pass the time while I’m at work.”
“It is,” he says thoughtfully. “Even though you shouldn’t really be here.”
My eyes snap to his. “Ember called me.”
“To check on you, not to have you work a shift.”
“But she said—”
“That we were down two girls and Trent was wigging out.” Elias nods. “I know, babe, but that wasn’t some ploy to get you in here. You asked how things were going, she answered, then you two argued becauseyou shouldn’t be herebut are too stubborn to stay home. Then you showed up anyway.”
He’s not wrong.
That’s pretty much exactly what happened.
Fin left my apartment this morning, I made breakfast for James, then Dori called and demanded we come over immediately becauseshit hit the fanfor the club.
It wasn’t until I got there that she told me about Rosco.
We got James situated in her and Zak’s bedroom because his room isn’t quite finished and it was still super early, then my sister and I went downstairs for coffee while we waited for the other girls. That in itself was an indication of how bad things were, having all of us congregate in one location, but making sure James was set, that everyone was here before Zak left, and him very literally putting their house in lockdown when he did definitely reinforced it.
Then Dori told me that Rosco Shapiro was found, in pieces, at the backdoor of The Dollhouse not long after closing, which of course is what led to my conversation with Ember.
After getting the details from my sister and nearly losing the little bits of breakfast I picked at before James and I left our place, I started to panic. Thankfully, Dori and our kickass friends were more than willing to distract me—Sofie basically shoved Willa at me for baby snuggles, and Summer woke up an almost asleep James so he could come playHungry, Hungry Hipposwith her, Jolie, and Harlow—and that worked for a while. We had a pretty great day actually, right up until Ember called to check on me once she figured out I knew everything that happened, and when the girls got the green light to go home, well that’s when I agreed to go into work. But not before I fell apart over the chaos I brought to my sister’s front door as well as everything I’ve been keeping from Fin.
I think the only reason Dori didn’t tie me down and keep me from leaving until Fin came to pick us up—assuming he would since I now know why he had to leave—was because being at The Dollhouse is another good distraction. I feel good about going to work and earning my own money and she knew Elias would be with me from the time I pulled into the parking lot until the time I pulled out.
Specifically because she made Zak call Elias and bark a bunch of orders at him before I left, then had at least three patches follow me once I turned out of their driveway.
