Page 33 of Broken Warrior
Protection here is no joke.
“Doors in twenty, ladies. Elias?” Ember arches a brow at her brother. “You done helping the girls with their makeup?”
He holds up a finger, digs through my makeup bag and pulls out my black lipstick, pops the top and paints his lips like a pro. “Now I’m done.”
I laugh as Ember rolls her eyes, the two of them leaving in a huff of sibling rivalry.
I really do like them. Maybe it won’t be so bad to have a few friends that aren’t a part of the MC. Not that the MC is a bad thing but I feel like Dori has given me everything: a place to stay, a car to drive, a family that I’ve missed more than anything, and friends that come along with that. Making a few new friends completely on my own isn’t so bad. Kind of makes me feel a little more grown up.
A sad smile touches my lips, one I catch sight of after I put on my g-string and pasties, and sit on my stool.
Making friends is such a strange concept and even though I’m happy to do so, I can’t help but think of the one person whose friendship means the most to me but seems so far out of reach that I’ll never be able to touch it. Which absolutely means wishing for anything more is ridiculous because it’s just not going to happen.
Once my heavy stage makeup ison fleek,according to Tink—one of the younger dancers who uses a ton of terminology I don’t understand—I fix my hair into what everyone has been calling myhardass peasant look; all natural but teased so my curls are fuller, separated in my natural part and pulled half back so it’s innocent but also sexy, then remove the rest of my costume from my bag.
I’m going on stage next, Dani just hit the catwalk, so I suit up and check to make sure I’m good.
“You about ready?” Ember asks as she pokes her head into the dressing room. “Dani definitely warmed them up for you. From the looks of it, she’ll be taking home close to eight tonight.”
I check my teeth for lipstick and nod. “Any wardrobe malfunctions?” I do a little spin then grab my robe.
“Perfect as usual.” She smiles. “I seriously am so flattered you used me for inspiration.”
Her and my Scottish Viking, but I’ll give her the credit since Fin won’t ever get any.
With a deep breath, I make my way backstage, the loud hum of the main floor at such a high volume I have to assume Ember was right about a packed house. I don’t get nervous anymore, not really, especially after years of spending so much time in places far worse than this one.
If anything, I get a little thrill of excitement when I perform, get a buzz from the adrenaline and my love to dance. It’s the only reason I didn’t find a way to end things before James came along. Sure, I was treated like a piece of meat, but the few minutes I had when I was on the stage, I felt free.
For those few minutes, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not I would get a beating, didn’t have to wonder if I was following the rules and pleasing Gino or anyone else. I could just get lost in the music and let my body take over, move however I wanted without someone telling me how to do it first.
And now, being here, in a club that doesn’t allow anyone to get close, that gives you artistic freedom and makes sure you’re safe and comfortable, that doesn’t expect you to be in a situation that you might not get out of? Dancing seems so much better without the devil on my back.
Elias gives me a fist bump as I walk up the stairs and watch the lights dim to almost nothing. The fog machine starts pumping so I pull on my robe, lift the hood, and wait for the monks to introduce Cordelia.
I slowly make my way to the pole in the center, my head down, hands folded and tucked into my sleeves. The men in the crowd are yelling, whistling, and howling like wolves, but when I stop and the thunder booms, the light flashing before going out, Cordelia takes over.
The opening notes ofShe Ridesroll over me like a warm wave, my body swaying in time with the beat, and just like I have every night since I started working here, I drown out the catcalls and pretend like I’m dancing for just one man.
Fin.
I imagine he’s the only one in the crowd, sitting front row center, watching me with hungry eyes. I imagine his gaze so intense, his big body relaxed, that ghost of a smile pulling at his perfect lips. While I’m on the first pole, then with every piece of clothing I shed on my way to the next, I don’t hear anyone, don’t see anyone but Fin MacAllister watching me, wanting me, needing me the same way I want him, the way I need him.
I pretend my hands are his as I strip and touch my body, imagine the pole on the catwalk is actually one in his bedroom, a private performance just for him, a dance shared between lovers. I even pretend he’s aroused, that my dance of seduction and broken beauty turns Fin on, that his erection is straining against those form fitting jeans and he never wants my performance to end while also praying that it does so he can take me backstage and ravage my body the way I crave.
And when the song comes to a close and Cordelia falls from heaven, I can almost see Fin stand from his seat and stalk toward me, a heat in his stare, an extreme need surging through every inch of his body.
But he’s not here.
Fin doesn’t even know where I really work, and if he did, he’d most likely be pissed and not at all turned on. Fin would probably be disgusted. He doesn’t know much about where I was before, but he knows I was a stripper in Gino’s club and I doubt he’d be thrilled to discover I’m now stripping here.
“Cordy.” Elias smirks as he sends one of Ember’s girls to get my tips. “I don’t know where your head was tonight but that was hands down the hottest performance you’ve had yet.”
I blush as I pull my robe on. “Thanks.”
“Really. That was amazing. You were so into your dance it was like you were actually from another world. I was all hot and bothered and I don’t even like tits.”
“Stop. It wasn’t any different from any other night.” Except when the girl hands me a huge stack of cash I realize maybe it was. I thumb through a bit then feel my brows lift.There has to be close to a thousand dollars here.“I guess I was pretty in the zone.”
