Page 100 of Broken Warrior
His window was open.
No.
No, it wasn’t.
When I came in last night it was closed up tight like always. There’s no way Fin would have left it unlocked, let alone open, and James can’t work the double safety locks on them. Even if he could, my son never would have opened that window without talking to me about it, he just wouldn’t.
I stand there clutching Spider to my chest, crying and panicking, my heart in my throat until I decide I can’t sit by and do nothing. So I start trashing my entire house.
Room by room, even though I know in my heart that my baby isn’t here, I tear everything apart until I’ve searched every nook and cranny, every possible hiding spot that my little boy could be in, and when I confirm what I know, I start to get angry.
He took him.
That son of a bitch found me, found us, and he took my baby.
He stole my son from me, took James right out from under my nose and I swear to god if he touches one hair on his sweet little head, I will kill Gino Valetti myself.
Minutes go by as I pace the hall, my anger turning into rage with each step. I hold Spider the entire time, squeezing that soft, worn, well-loved stuffed animal as if it's the only thing keeping me grounded.
Right now, it is.
This fuzzy spider smells like my son, it smells like my boyfriend, and holding something that is loved and cherished by the only two men on this planet that I love more than life itself is keeping me sane right this second.
“Theo and Cy are on their way to pick you up,” Fin grunts as he barges through the front door, alone. “I followed the tracks as far as I could but they disappeared a couple miles from here. Must have had a car waiting.”
“Fin…” He’s angry. So angry and out of breath. And I can tell he’s scared. But Fin won’t look at me. He won’t even walk into the room further than the hall. So I start walking toward him. “Fin, what—”
“Jackal is picking me up. I can’t drive like…” He shakes his head and looks away, but not before I see a tear roll down his cheek. “You need to stay with your sister until… I have an idea and I think I can figure out where…fuck.”
As soon as he says the word, Fin breaks down. He starts shaking and crying, covering his face then fisting his hair. Fin falls apart right in front of me but the second I start down the hall to go to him, when I try to comfort him—to comfort each other and reassure him that Gino won’t hurt James, not when I’m really the target and that’s why we’ll get him back—he backs away.
“Fin?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t.”
“I don’t understand.” I take a step forward but Fin keeps backing up. “Fin—”
“This—it’s my fault.”
Oh no.“No, Fin, baby, this isn’t your fault. We both know who’s responsible—”
“I was in the goddamn house, Tate.” He finally meets my eyes and when he does, my chest goes tight. I see everything in that cold stare, everything I need to know right now and it pisses me off, but I want to hear it from him. “I was here,right fucking herein the next room over. I installed security, for fuck’s sake. I did everything right to try to protect you, to protect James”—his voice cracks—”and I fucking failed.”
I cross my arms against my chest, still holding Spider as my tears turn from scared to downright pissed off. “This is not your fault. You did not fail. I’m his mother, the woman chosen to protect that baby with every fiber of my being and the only person I blame, the only person at fault for this, is Gino. I don’t even blame myself, Fin, so you shouldn’t blame yourself either.”
His lips turn up at the corners but the smile isn’t real. It’s fake, it’s angry. It’s sarcastic and I know for a fact he’s about to get shitty with me. “This is my fault, Tate, but it’s real fucking nice that you don’t want to see it that way. Maybe you don’t want me to relapse by telling the truth, maybe you’re afraid of admitting it to yourself because it means your white knight is actually a piece of a shit, just another bastard you got stuck with due to shit circumstances, but I’m going to do you a favor.” Fin backs into the doorway, looking out as the rumble of multiple vehicles pull up to the house. He looks at me again and my heart starts pounding out of my chest. “I’m going to find James, and I’m going to kill Valetti because I promised to do that. I’ll make good on that promise and I’ll even go as far as to promise I won’t relapse because of this. I might be a piece of shit who can’t protect the only people I’ve ever loved, but I’ve always been a man of my word. So I’ll find James, I’ll kill that bastard Valetti, and then I’ll leave you both alone.”
No, please.“Fin. Fin, don’t you dare—”
“We’re done, Tate. Over. We’re through. I’ll make good on my promises but then I’ll leave you both alone because if I can’t protect you when I’m in the same goddamn house, what good am I to either of you? You don’t need someone like me around, you never did. So I’ll make this—”
“Fuck you, Finlay,” I yell as I march up to him and try to get in his face. “Fuck you for doing this to me. For turning this into something that it’s not and never would be if you hadn’t started overthinking. This isn’t about you or me, it’s about James.”
“You’re right.” His eyes are cold, so cold. “Thisisabout James. I shouldn’t be standing here having this conversation because Ineedto get him back, and I will, but he doesn’t need some fucked up, broken piece of garbage to look up to. You’re both better off without me and that’s exactly whatthisis about. You and me? We’re over, Tate, and someday both of you will realize I did you a favor. That’s the last promise I’ll make you, that you’ll realize you and James don’t need someone like me in your life.”
I swipe at my tears and narrow my eyes. “When James is back and we’re all together again, you’re going to feel like shit for doing this to me. You’re going to feel terrible about trying to end us when I need you the most, when you refuse to be the man I know you are—the man I love—the man who loves me and my baby and wants to be a family with us. You’re going to feel like crap over it, but I’ll still be here, Fin. I’ll let it go now because you’re angry and scared, because you’re already too focused on your plan to think clearly. I will be here when it’s all said and done because I love you and I want those things with you even though you’re talking out of your ass right now.”
“Don’t bother.” Another heartless smile. “I’ll bring James home and make that bastard pay, but you can consider me already gone, Tate.” Fin lowers his face closer to mine as Jackal yells from the driveway. “I’m already fucking gone, so just let me go.”
