“They did. I’ll never understand how implants can be comfortable. It literally looked like her skin was stretched over rocks.”
“What an idiot,” Summer grumbles. “Totally passed up a pair of adorably real titties and an immaculate cooch that isn’t all stretched and floppy.”
I snort. “Stretched and floppy? Gross, Sum.”
She giggles. “Hey, you’re my best friend and I’m a super judgmental lesbian. I have seen your vag and your titties in all their naked glory, so I’m basically overqualified to make those statements.”
“Which is why I can’t tell if you’re biased or trying to hit on me.”
Summer laughs loud and hard into the phone. “Babe, if you swung for any other team we’d be married by now, but you don’t and never will; therefore, best friend is all you will ever be.”
Something I know but still like to tease her over.
We’ve been best friends since freshman year of college when Summer actually did try to hit on me in the library. I turned her down in the politest way I knew how and instead of being anything negative, Summer sat down and helped me with my calculus homework, and we’ve been besties ever since.
And to be totally honest, I’m not Summer’s type. Not physically—she doesn’t have a type when it comes to appearance—but our personalities are so fucking different that a real committed relationship as girlfriends would be impossible. We are polar opposites in damn near every way and, while it works for our friendship, we’d kill each other if we ever became romantically involved.
“So, tell me more about this mysterious hero man.”
My cheeks flame as I trip over my own feet, then I let out a nervous giggle, trip again, and stop walking before I hurt myself. “I told you all there was.”Mostly.
“Bullshit, Theodora.” Summer laughs. “I know that giggle and you are blushing right down to your ass cheeks. And that means you either found him way more than mysterious or you did the dirty when he escorted you home.”
“Oh my god.” I bury my face in my hands on another wave of nervous giggles. “I did not sleep with him.”
“Then you think he’s a total babe and want to.”
“Summer.”
“Theodora.”
I roll my eyes and attempt to start walking again. “He was very handsome in a brooding and gruff kind of way.”
“Code fordrop dead sexy.I’m with you.”
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“And you’re full of shit.” I can practically hear her satisfied smile. “So, your knight in shining leather was hot as fuck but you did not fuck and yet something did happen, right?”
I chew my lip and fight my grin. “Maybe.”
“Aha! I knew it! Spill it, babe. It has been years since you’ve had any good stories for me to live vicariously through you as a straight woman.”
“Oh my god.”
“It’s true! Your sex life with Tony was so vanilla evenyouwere bored just thinking about it. It was one thing in the beginning when he was at least a little romantic, but that went south fast, and before that it was just your high school fumbling and then that emo kid for six months freshman year. At least he was a decent lay.”
“Leonard.” And yeah, he was good in bed. A very generous partner actually, but he got a little obsessed with wanting to suck my toes and fuck my feet. I want adventure in the bedroom, not a podiatrist.
“Yeah! Leo, the foot fetish guy! Those stories were fun.”
“Until they weren’t.”
Summer giggles. “Until they weren’t. So, give me something fun about your mystery man.”
With a shrug, I keep going down the sidewalk. “There isn’t much to tell that I haven’t told you... but I did kiss him.”
“Hot damn!” She claps so loud I can hear it through the phone. “Where?”
